PONDERISMS

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.  

Can you cry under water?  

How important does a person have to be before they are considered assassinated instead of just murdered?  

Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it’s only a "penny for your thoughts"?  Where's that extra penny going?  (taxes?)  

If you get to heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried in for all eternity?  

What disease did cured ham actually have?  

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?  

Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up, like, every two hours?  

If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?  

Why are you IN a movie, but you’re ON TV?  

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?  

Why do doctors leave the room while you change?  They're going to see you naked anyway.  

Why is “bra" singular and "panties" plural?  

Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp, which no normal human being would eat?  

Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?  

If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can’t he fix a hole in a boat?  

If olive oil is made from olives, corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, what is baby oil made from?  

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?  

Why do the Alphabet Song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same melody?  

Why did you just try singing the two songs above?  

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?  
 
HOW DID THE PERSON WHO MADE THE FIRST CLOCK, KNOW WHAT TIME IT WAS?

 

BARGAIN HEARING AIDS

Morris had long suspected that his hearing wasn't quite what it used to be. Friends often had to repeat themselves, and he found himself nodding along to conversations he could barely follow. It was time, he realised, to invest in a hearing aid. However, Morris, known for his frugality, was reluctant to part with a substantial sum of money. Determined to find a bargain, he headed to the local hearing aid store.

Upon entering the store, Morris was greeted by a friendly salesperson. "How much do they cost?" he inquired, hoping for a modest price tag. The salesperson, with a knowing smile, replied, "That depends. They run from $2.00 to $2,000." Morris, ever the penny-pincher, was intrigued by the mention of a $2.00 model. "Let's see the $2.00 model," he said, his curiosity piqued.

The salesperson, amused by Morris's request, obliged by presenting the budget model. He carefully placed the device around Morris' neck and explained, "You just stick this button in your ear and run this little string down to your pocket." Morris examined the contraption, unsure of its effectiveness. "How does it work?" he asked.

With a twinkle in his eye, the salesperson answered, "For $2.00 it doesn't work. But when people see it on you, they'll talk louder!"

LIFE CHANGES

How has my life changed since I have become handicapped?  Of course the big change has been the inability to walk.  Most of my life I have been a regular walker -usually in the mornings before work and on weekends.  I really miss these times.

I miss going to church and being with friends,  I enjoy the live streams and I am thankful for that.   But since they seldom show the congregation I miss much of what is happening with the congregation.

I miss going to s restaurant.  I haven't been to one for several years.  Oh how I miss going to Chick-filet or even Burger King for that matter.   Those are just memories now.

Believe it or not.  I miss going to my study and my desk.  My wheelchair won't fit down the hallway.  That's been hard but thankfully there is technology that helps me get to some of my work.

I miss driving.  I need a driver and caretaker every time I need to go a doctor.  It is often hard to find help.

It is often lonely and the days can be long with  little to do.  Friends have their own plans and agendas.  Television is boring. And I am limited in what I can do.

It is nearly impossible to go shopping and complete jobs that at one time were simple to do without help.

Naps are now easy to take but then I can't sleep at night.

I can no longer go to basketball games or wrestling matches or musicals, and I do miss that.

Vacations are a thing of the past.  Oh how I'd love to go Ocean City Maryland once again.

Personal care assistance can be a challenge and help is usually needed.

Newspapers and mail are now very hard to get without help.

But despite the changes, God has not changed.  He continues to be faithful and all that we need.  He provides what we need and our trust remains in Him.

Beat!, beat! beat!

 It was ten years ago and my wife was having trouble with a heart murmur.  The doctors ordered a pacemaker which was installed without any problem.  It solved the problem.   And all we had to monitor all these years we monitored it electronically.  That meant using a device to record her heart activity.  Then it would search for a cell tower and transmit the results to the hospital for interpretation.  And that was the normal routine.  Rather amazing!

This time we received a call to make an appointment to have her battery replaced.  We wanted to wait until June to have this done.  That was upsetting since we plan to move then but they couldn't do it sooner.  So we figured we'd wait and the Lord would work it out.   And he did!  Two days later they called and scheduled her for February. 18.  Again, amazing.  But not when God is in charge.

So on February 18, my son took her in at 6:00 am.  And by 11 she was done with a brand new pacer..  PTL it went fine and hopefully this will outlast the first one.  Another God thing!