Do You Matter. (LB)

LOOKING BACK - A feature where I choose a previous blog and share it once again.  This blog was first shared in 2012

          One of our Pinebrook hymn sings was titled "Serving Joyfully".  As part of the program we showed a DVD by Max Lucado, "The Fear Of Not Mattering".  After the DVD I shared some observations that I've had about the decisions folks often make about serving the Lord as they reach their senior years.  

          Afterwards a retired pastor thanked me for my comments and said that somebody needs to share this topic - not only with seniors, but with all ages.  But seniors in particular do face this fear for a variety of reasons.  Sometimes it is the physical challenges of getting older that prevent them from serving, or at least serving as they have for years.  Sometimes it is the false belief that they've put in their years and now somebody else should serve instead.  And, unfortunately, sometimes seniors just aren't needed or used.  

          Even ministries often favor those who are young, full of energy and physically able.  And when you are no longer needed or valued by a ministry, you can easily develop the attitude that you really don't matter anymore.  And this fear of not mattering isn't just limited to seniors.  It can affect all adults as well, especially men who often see their personal worth in what they do or what position they hold.  

          Recently I have been using a new devotional book, "Living In The Psalms", by Charles Swindoll.  Some of his comments on Psalm 8 (take time to read it) caught my eye and mind.  Here is some of what he said. "It's humbling to think that the Creator of the universe, whose power, knowledge, and goodness show no limits, actually cares about us and loves us individually and personally.  Think about how difficult it would be to reach the CEO of a major corporation to discuss your problems with a product.  Or imagine trying to get a few moments alone with the President of the United States to talk about your foreign policy concerns.  We all know how poorly that would turn out.  It's not their fault; with limited time and energy they have to prioritize.  

          Furthermore, we who have large families sometimes find it difficult to stay current with all our little ones.  Keeping up with the daily lives of our ten grandchildren could turn into a full-time job; almost impossible for mere man.  So, the fact that the Ruler of the universe takes personal care of me is more than I can fathom.  He takes a personal interest in each one who trusts in Him.  He adds oil to our grind of feeling overlooked by reminding us of His personal interest.  

          Perhaps as you read this you feel alone, deserted.  What a distressing, barren valley is loneliness!  But listen!  If you have the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, you have a constant Companion and Friend.  He never leaves you in the lurch.  This psalm is positive proof that He does not consider you unimportant or overlook you.  He isn't irritated by your coming to Him with your needs.  He never looks upon your prayers or requests as interruptions.  

          Even as James reminds us: He gives "generously and without approach" (1:5).  He provides good gifts without "variation or shifting shadow" (1:17).  Do you know why?  The answer is Grace - sheer, undeserved, unmerited, unearned favor.  Therefore, right now, cast your feeling of insignificance and despair on Him."

Great Days, Less Than Great Days

 Every day the Lord Himself is near me,

With a special mercy for each hour;

All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,

He whose name is Counselor and Pow'r.

 

           We never know exactly what a day may bring. Some days are great.  Some days are less than great.  But all are under God's control and care.

          On Monday afternoon I entered the hospital for surgery to remove several large kidney stones. This was my third hospitalization in three weeks. The surgery was delayed an hour but that gave them enough time to complete the infusion that I needed that day.

          The surgery went well.  They were able to laser three stones and remove the pieces with a basket.  They also replaced my stent with a new one.  They feel the surgery was successful.

          But then I was taken to a very small room for an overnight stay. I developed terrible pain which came in waves.  I asked for Tylenol for the pain but my nurse couldn't give me any because the protocol called for a more powerful drug.  I refused to take anything more powerful.  Finally, about an hour later, she said that she received permission to give me Tylenol.  She did and it helped.

          On Tuesday I negotiated to have my infusion done in the hospital.  I finally was able to convince them to do it.  Early in the afternoon my nurse reluctantly began the process.  But I think it all was done incorrectly.  But I was still able to be released after this possibly failed attempt.

          Wednesday afternoon it was what I hoped might be my final infusion, more blood work and then an appointment with the Infectious Disease Doctors to review my case.

          The doc decided that we could stop the infusions and take medicine for another week.  He was concerned that it would be about three weeks until the stent could be removed. This leaves opportunity for the blood disease to start again.  I was given numerous things to watch for. So I just watch and wait.

          Then that evening, after many "ups and downs", the Lord provided a special bonus, the birth of our first great grandchild – Malachi Pierce Cetnar – born in Mass. – 8 lbs. 2 oz., 21 inches.  A present from the Lord – "a special mercy for each hour".

The Joy Of The Unexpected

          Sometimes life comes at you quickly, when you least expect it.  Thankfully the Lord walks with you through these unexpected experiences. 

          For weeks I wasn't feeling well and had signs of a possible urinary infection.  When things didn't improve my urologist suggested a CT scan to check for kidney stones.  On Thursday morning I had the scan and that afternoon they called to say that I had a 6 mm stone that was blocking my flow and needed to be taken out.  They set up an appointment for me on Friday to plan for its removal.

          That night my pain became intolerable and I decided to do something I have always refused to do following my surgeries – I took an oxycodone.  Early in the morning I had to go to the toilet and slipped out of bed trying to do so.  My legs wouldn't work to allow me to get up so we finally gave up and called the ambulance.

          I ended up in the ER and was later admitted to the hospital.  I was not able to keep my Friday appointments about my stone, but the Lord provided a urologist who had an unexpected opening in his schedule.  He implanted a stent but did not try to remove the stone because of the amount of infection that he encountered.  But I did get some relief.

           They decided to keep me in the hospital for several days.  Most of the nurses were great but the food was terrible.  The hospital food used to be good but now it is terrible.  I was released days later with a date to have the stent taken out and the stone lasered.

          The next evening, we discovered a message on our answering system with instructions to immediately report back to the hospital.  They found, after I left, that a blood culture showed that I had a fungus infection in my blood.  I needed immediate antibiotics by iv and would be readmitted to the hospital.

          We were told to report to the ER which we did.  But there were no parking spaces available so we parked illegally.  My wife kept checking the lot throughout the evening until she eventually found a spot. 

          But the worst was yet to come.  We checked in and went through all sorts of tests since nobody appeared to understand why we were there.  Then, finally, after seven hours of waiting, we were able to see a doctor.   There was no reason for this treatment by the ER staff.

          I was admitted to a holding room which was really a miserable situation – almost like being in a closet.  I was given an echocardiogram because this condition can create sticky heart valves.  But I guess mine were still fine.  And the food was still terrible.

          They began daily infusions in an attempt to stop the blood infection.  Several days later they decided to release me with orders to continue the infusions as an outpatient.  As of yesterday, I have completed five in the hospital and five as an outpatient at the hospital and at a local infusion center.  I have five more to go.  I have no idea if they are working.  Nobody seems to know and I guess I won't know until my appointment with the Infectious Disease Group next Wednesday.

          In the meantime, I am now scheduled for surgery on Monday at 3 pm.  They hope to laser my stones and take out the stent.  They will keep me at least one night so that I can enjoy the hospital food once again.

          I don't have much pain and I am slowly regaining my appetite.  I've lost about 15 pounds and am extremely tired.  I pray that things might improve after the surgery.

          I would appreciate prayer for my wife.  She is exhausted from driving me around and caring for me.  She is also facing some serious surgery the first week in November.   I must remember the vows … in sickness and in health.

More Seconds and Thirds

          Last month I shared a blog in which I shared a number of second and third verses of hymns which are sometimes skipped.  Did you recognize the hymns?  Were the words meaningful to you?  

          I enjoyed preparing the blog and enjoyed being reminded of many truths that the hymn writers wanted to share with others.  For that reason I am preparing a second one.

 

     God hath not promised smooth roads and wide,

Swift, easy travel, needing no guide;

Never a mountain, rocky and steep,

Never a river, turbid and deep.
Chorus:  But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above,

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

**********

How matchless the grace, 

when I looked in the face

Of this Jesus, my crucified Lord;

My redemption complete 

I then found at His feet,

And Calvary covers it all.

Calvary covers it all,

My past with its sin and stain;

My guilt and despair

Jesus took on Him there,

And Calvary covers it all.

**********

   Every need His hand supplying,

Every good in Him I see;

On His strength divine relying,

He is all in all to me.

All that thrills my soul is Jesus,

He is more than life to me;

And the fairest of ten thousand

In my blessed Lord I see.

**********

    Let us then be true and faithful,

Trusting, serving every day;

Just one glimpse of Him in glory

Will the toils of life repay.

When we all get to Heaven,

What a day of rejoicing that will be!

When we all see Jesus,

We'll sing and shout the victory!

**********

Love brought my Savior 

here to die on Calvary,

For such a sinful wretch as I, 

how can it be?

Love bridged the gulf 'twixt me and Heav'n,

taught me to pray,

I am redeemed, set free, forgiv'n, 

love found a way.

Love found a way, to redeem my soul,

Love found a way, 

that could make me whole.

Love sent my Lord to the cross of shame,

Love found a way, O praise His holy Name!

**********

 I must tell Jesus all of my troubles,

He is a kind, compassionate Friend;

If I but ask Him He will deliver,

Make of my troubles quickly an end.

I must tell Jesus! I must tell Jesus!

I cannot bear my burdens alone;

I must tell Jesus! I must tell Jesus!

Jesus can help me, Jesus alone.

**********

And now for me He stands 

Before the Father's throne.

He shows His wounded hands 

and names me as His own.

For me He died, 

For me He lives,

And everlasting life and light 

He freely gives.

**********

 More about Jesus let me learn,

More of His holy will discern;

Spirit of God, my teacher be,

Showing the things of Christ to me

More, more about Jesus,

More, more about Jesus;

More of His saving fulness see,

More of His love who died for me.

**********

 Sometimes the sky looks dark 
with not a ray of light,

We're tossed and driven on, 
no human help in sight;

But there is one in heav'n 
who knows our deepest care,

Let Jesus solve your problem
just go to Him in pray'r.

It will be worth it all when we see Jesus,

Life's trials will seem so small 
when we see Christ;

One glimpse of His dear face 
all sorrow will erase,

So bravely run the race
 till we see Christ.

**********

Though sorrows befall us and evils oppose,

God leads His dear children along;

Through grace we can conquer, 

defeat all our foes,

God leads His dear children along.

Some through the waters, 

some through the flood,

Some through the fire, 

but all through the blood;

Some through great sorrow, 

but God gives a song,

In the night season 

and all the day long.

**********

He placed me upon the strong 
Rock by His side,

My steps were established 
and here I'll abide;

No danger of falling while here I remain,

But stand by His grace 
until the crown I gain.

He brought me out of the miry clay,

He set my feet on the Rock to stay;

He puts a song in my soul today,

A song of praise, hallelujah!

**********

But we never can prove 
the delights of His love

Until all on the altar we lay;

For the favor He shows, f
or the joy He bestows,

Are for them who will trust and obey.

Trust and obey, f
or there's no other way

To be happy in Jesus, 
but to trust and obey.

**********

 I am resting tonight 

in this wonderful peace,

Resting sweetly in Jesus' control;

For I'm kept from all danger 

by night and by day,

And His glory is flooding my soul!

Peace, peace, wonderful peace,

Coming down from the Father above!

Sweep over my spirit forever, I pray

In fathomless billows of love!

**********

 The bride eyes not her garment,

But her dear Bridegroom's face;

I will not gaze at glory

But on my King of grace.

Not at the crown He giveth

But on His pierced hand;

The Lamb is all the glory

Of Emmanuel's land.

Priorities

I have been including writings which I have made for my grandchildren.  Here is another one about an event that happened in 1984.

It was a letter from the White House and suddenly our priorities changed!

 

The unexpected letter told us that I had been chosen to receive the Presidential Award for Excellence in Teaching Mathematics and we were to spend five days in October 1984 in Washington D.C.  I knew I had been nominated for this award but I never expected to be chosen as the one to be honored.  This was the second year for the prestigious award given annually to one mathematics teacher from each state.  I had been chosen to represent Pennsylvania.

 

Quickly all our plans changed.  The President had summoned us and nothing was more important.  The calendar was cleared, events rescheduled - we were going to Washington.

 

I needed a new suit if I was going to appear before President Regan.  I found the one I wanted only to be told that it would take a week for alterations.  However, when I told the salesman why I needed it, he quickly changed his story and said it would be ready tomorrow.  This suit and the alterations suddenly became a priority.

 

The morning we were to leave for Washington we had car problems.  We took it to a local garage and explained our need.  They discovered the car needed a part which they didn't have but they called a dealer who had the part and agreed to take care of us immediately.  Getting us to Washington became a priority for both garages.

 

We left Millersville feeling that we were something special.  The Lancaster Newspapers carried front page stories and pictures.  Even John Herr's Village Market featured me on their sign on Manor Ave.  "Congratulations to Barry Kauffman, Presidential Awardee!"  It seemed that everyone was sharing in this special honor and we could barely contain our excitement of meeting President Regan.

 

Our time in Washington was very special.  We attended numerous banquets and receptions.  We toured historical buildings.  We visited congressmen.  We had a news conference.  We were given many gifts including a computer.

 

While I was attending a session, Dianne decided to go shopping and for lunch with a group of wives she had met in the hotel lobby.  When she took some time to look at some puppets in one of the stores, the conversation moved to our use of puppets in our family ministry.  Dianne then discovered that the other two women were also born again and active in their churches in New Mexico and Nebraska.  This began a special relationship which lasted many years following the week in Washington.

 

But not everything was going perfectly.  We were stunned to learn that the President would not be able to see us as planned because of plans to campaign for next month's presidential election.  Instead we were to receive our awards from another government official.  The news was not only disappointing but devastating as well.  We were not his priority at that time.

I suggested that we needed to express our disappointment and I encouraged the awardees to flood the White House switchboard with calls.  We did!  It worked!  The plans were changed to allow the President to meet us on the White House lawn on Friday before he boarded a helicopter to fly to New York for a campaign speech.

 

That Friday was a highlight of our lives as we greeted the President.  I got to shake his hand, take his picture and actually talk to him for a few seconds.  Unfortunately, because of the press of the crowd Dianne couldn't even get her arm out to reach to shake his hand.  But she saw him by looking over my shoulder. Then he was gone and we were left with exciting memories.

 

On the way out we collected leaves from the lawn.  We were challenged by the Secret Service but we had already gathered enough to take home.  We laminated them and gave them out as bookmarks to all our Awana clubbers the following Wednesday.

 

But our lessons in priorities weren't done.   

 

When we arrived home we found that we had been replaced on John Herr's Village Market sign with a sale in wild birdseed and ground beef!  The newspapers didn't call and on Monday I had to face my students again with all of us knowing that I really wasn't the best math teacher in the state.

 

On Monday the President made a campaign visit to Millersville and our students were dismissed to watch him arrive by helicopter.  But I was only an observer, from the parking lot, this time.  Craig actually got closer to the President than I did because he was working with the fire company in providing security.

 

The biggest lesson in priorities was still to come.  We received a call that my close friend, Paul Brosious, had a massive heart attack and was called to his eternal home in heaven.  As we learned more about his death we came to understand that it happened almost at the same minute when I was shaking hands with the President.  So while I was shaking hands with the most powerful leader in the world, Paul was unexpectedly being ushered into the presence of Almighty God, Creator and Sustainer of the Universe.

 

Earthly awards are temporal.  They rust.  They fade.  They wear out.  They are forgotten.  But what is done for the Lord is eternal.  That is why the scriptures warn us not to lay up treasures here on earth but to lay up our treasures in heaven.

 

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness.  And all these things shall be added unto you".  Matthew 6:33.  That should be our priority.

 

                                                 

Fall Saturdays (LB)

 LOOKING BACK - Every once in awhile I repeat a blog that appeared here before.  Fall is my favorite season.  I love the cooler temperatures, the beautiful changing leaves and especially football.  On most weekends I expect to be in front of my television watching Penn State play and on most Sundays I hope to be sitting there watching the Eagles play.  I look forward to days like these.  So here is a previous Fall blog about my interest in football..

         Fall weekends have always been one of my favorite times of the year, because of football.  For about 68 years this is how I spent by Fall Saturdays. 

          When I was in high school for seven years I played in the band and we attended and performed at every football game.  Then when I was in college I traveled for four years as chief statistician with a very successful Susquehanna University football team.  Then for 25 years I covered area high school football games for the Lancaster Sunday News.

          But next came one of the most exciting events in my Fall schedule - Penn State football games.  The first couple of years I was able to purchase tickets from some friends.  I also began to advertise for tickets in the local weekly newspaper.  I was often successful in using a Penn State ticket line on my computer.

          However I also learned that many folks have extra tickets and they would offer them for sale the day of the game.  So we made a sign that said simply "We Need Two", placed it in the window of our car and began the drive to State College.

          And that worked!  PSU fans knew what it meant. Usually we were stopped by somebody with tickets to sell before we reached Harrisburg.  One time we stopped at our local Turkey Hill and somebody saw our sign and sold us tickets.  Only once were we not successful.  For the big PSU-Alabama game we were stopped near Lewisburg and were offered tickets at $25 over face value.  We refused, stopped at Lewisburg for a brief visit with my wife's sister, drove home and watched the game on television.

          We never had to pay more than face value and we got to sit in all sorts of locations in the stadium.  That was fun.

          Then we found a gentleman in Columbia who had season tickets and seldom used them. For many years we became a frequent buyer.  Those seats were great and easy to get to.  And they were right near the handicapped parking which we used.  Easy in, easy out.

          Things changed when he died.  They moved the handicapped parking away from the stadium.  They ran shuttles which were easy to use going to the game.  But they would not send the shuttle back after the game until it was full.  That made an early departure to beat the traffic very difficult.

          Later, after we stopped going to the games, they moved the handicapped parking to another part of the town which meant you had to use the shuttle.  It was just too far to walk.

          We miss the tailgating.  That was amazing.  The setups, displays and variety of foods were incredible.  Some folks don't even go to the game, they tailgate, stay at their cars and watch the game on television.

          When we were more able we often walked downtown before the game and shopped in the college stores.  If we were there on the right weekend the Ag Building had a tremendous show featuring flowers and produce.  And there were vendors and displays around and in the Bryce Jordan Center.  So many interesting things to do before the game.

          And I enjoyed the pregame events in the stadium.  The warm-ups, the cheerleaders and the appearance of Joe Pa.  Then came the band and their great sound.  But the highlight was the appearance of the drum major who did his traditional flip at midfield.  And when he landed upright on his feet, the crowd went wild.

          Of course there was the excitement of the game.  The crowd noise and participation was incredible.

          But alas, all good things must come to an end.  Now that we have trouble walking we have been forced to give up this experience.  

          Now instead we trade the experience for a short walk to our living room,  sitting on a recliner instead of being crunched in a small bleacher seat, watching the game on a large television, going to our own bathroom instead of waiting in long lines, getting a snack without paying inflated prices, and avoiding the heavy traffic going home.  And when there is rain, hail, sleet or snow, we are comfortable in our home.

          But I still miss the excitement of being there!

A Day To Remember (LB)

LOOKING BACK – Repeating a blog that I previously shared here.  On this weekend of 9/11 we need to be reminded of that sad day in our history and how we responded at that time.

          September 11 - a day that Americans will never forget. It is one of those days that everyone remembers exactly where they were when they first heard the news of the terror attacks. It was a day that changed our lives forever. 

          As I mentioned in an earlier blog, there are several days that I will always remember where I was when I heard the news ... the end of World War 2 ... the shooting of President Kennedy ... the launching of Sputnik ... the first walk on the moon ... the shooting of President Reagan ... and a few others. 

          But ten years ago I was in my room at school preparing for my next class. For some reason I decided to turn on the television to watch the news before class. Several minutes later I saw the first plane hitting the tower. The remainder of the day my classes of high school juniors watched in stunned silence as the events unfolded before us. There was little that could be said. As I said before, in an instance our lives were changed. 

          During the days that followed, people flocked to churches. It was suddenly politically correct to talk about God and to call on Him for help. There was a spirit felt throughout the nation unlike any we had experienced for years. Security was tightened everywhere and we feel that even today. Wars were fought to try and stop the enemy - many additional lives were lost. But in the years that followed, the wars continued and some security measures affected our freedoms, but for the most part people returned to their previous ways. Religion was no longer important and, in fact, it even become a focal point of attack by many liberals and atheists. How soon we forget. 

          Ten years later we have elaborate services to remember these events, but in New York City, pastors and other religious leaders aren't even allowed to participate. But God is still here and He is in control, no matter what man may do. And I have to believe that the return of the Lord is just on the horizon. We have just gone through a difficult time in this country with earthquakes, wild fires, hurricanes, flooding and unbelievable frustration. This has come at a time when our economy can't afford the billions of dollars involved in these losses. I don't profess to have the answers, but I can't help but wonder if God has withdrawn His hand of blessing and protection from this country. 

          The scriptures remind us that "God is not mocked for whatever a man sows, that will he also reap." Maybe September 11 is a time that each of us should renew our commitment, our love, and our obedience to God the Creator.

Second And Thirds

          Growing up I remember a prayer meeting leader who often said that he was glad that he wasn't the third verse of a hymn.  His reasoning, song leaders often choose to skip the third verse to save time.  And he was right.

          Unfortunately third verses (and often second as well) have powerful messages that are needed.

          Now while I produce my weekly hymn blogs I usually review the entire hymn.  But I've decided to go back through some of the 600+ hymns I've reviewed and look at some of these key verses.  Over the next few months I will devote some of my posts in this blog to many of these verses.

          I hope you will be challenged and encouraged as you review these.

 

Hidden in the hollow of His blessed hand,

Never foe can follow, never traitor stand;

Not a surge of worry, not a shade of care,

Not a blast of hurry touch the spirit there. 

Stayed upon Jehovah, hearts are fully blest

Finding, as He promised, perfect peace and rest.

 **********

  Every day the Lord Himself is near me,

With a special mercy for each hour;

All my cares He fain would bear and cheer me,

He whose name is Counsellor and Pow'r.

The protection of His child and treasure

Is a charge that on Himself He laid;

"As thy days, thy strength shall be in measure,"

This the pledge to me He made

**********

  A wonderful Savior is Jesus my Lord, 

He taketh my burden away; 

He holdeth me up, 

and I shall not be moved, 

He giveth me strength as my day.  

He hideth my soul in the 

cleft of the rock that 

shadows a dry, thirsty land; 

He hideth my life with the depths of His love, 

And covers me there with His hand, 

And covers me there with His hand.

 

  With numberless blessings 

each moment He crowns, 

And filled with His fullness divine, 

I sing in my rapture, oh, glory to God 

For such a Redeemer as mine!   

He hideth my soul in the cleft of the rock 

that shadows a dry, thirsty land; 

He hideth my life with the depths of His love, 

And covers me there with His hand, 

And covers me there with His hand.

**********

 Under His wings, what a refuge in sorrow!

How the heart yearningly turns to its rest!

Often when earth has no balm for my healing,

There I find comfort, and there I am blessed.

Under His wings, under His wings,

Who from His love can sever?

Under His wings, my soul shall abide,

Safely abide forever.

**********

Jesus is all the world to me, 

my Friend in trials sore;

I go to Him for blessings,

 and He gives them over and o'er.

He sends the sunshine and the rain, 

He sends the harvest's golden grain;

Sunshine and rain, harvest of grain, 

He's my Friend.

**********

Long my imprisoned spirit lay,

Fast bound in sin and nature's night;

Thine eye diffused a quickening ray;

I woke, the dungeon flamed with light;

My chains fell off, my heart was free,

I rose, went forth, and followed Thee.

Chorus: Amazing love! How can it be

That Thou, my God, should die for me!

Amazing love! How can it be

That Thou, my God, should die for me!
**********

No other friend so keen to help you,

No other friend so quick to hear;

No other place to leave your burden,

No other one to hear your prayer.  
All your anxiety, all your care,

Bring to the mercy seat, leave it there;

Never a burden He cannot bear,

Never a friend like Jesus!

**********

God hath not promised we shall not know

Toil and temptation, trouble and woe;

He hath not told us we shall not bear

Many a burden, many a care.

 

But God hath promised strength for the day,

Rest for the labor, light for the way,

Grace for the trials, help from above,

Unfailing sympathy, undying love.

**********
Be still, my soul: when dearest friends depart,

And all is darkened in the vale of tears,

Then shalt thou better know His love, His heart,

Who comes to soothe thy sorrow and thy fears.

Be still, my soul: thy Jesus can repay

From His own fullness all He takes away.

**********

When, by the gift of His infinite grace,

I am accorded in heaven a place,

Just to be there and to look on His face,

Will through the ages be glory for me.

O that will be glory for me,

Glory for me, glory for me,

When by His grace I shall look on His face,

That will be glory, be glory for me.