Strange Answers

Over the years, most teachers have received strange answers to some of their test questions.   Here are a few examples.   1.   Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and travelled by Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants have to live elsewhere. 2.   The Bible is full of interesting c aricatures. In the first book of the Bible, Guinessis, Adam and Eve were created from an apple tree. One of their children, Cain, asked, "Am I my brother's son?" 3.   Moses led the Hebrew slaves to the Red Sea, where they made unleavened bread which is bread made without any ingredients. Moses went up on Mount Cyanide to get the ten commandments. He died before he ever reached Canada. 4.   Solomon had three hundred wives and seven hundred porcupines. 5.   The Greeks were a highly sculptured people, and without them we wouldn't have history. The Greeks also had myths. A myth is a female moth. 6.   Actually, Homer was not written by Homer but by another man of that name. 7.   Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline. 8.   In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled the biscuits, and threw the java. 9.   Eventually, the Romans conquered the Greeks. History calls people Romans because they never stayed in one place for very long. 10.  Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. The Ides of March murdered him because they thought he was going to be made king. Dying, he gasped out: "Tee hee, Brutus." 11. Nero was a cruel tyranny who would torture his subjects by playing the fiddle to them. 12. Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense. 13. In midevil times most people were alliterate. The greatest writer of the futile ages was Chaucer, who wrote many poems and verses and also wrote literature. 14. Another story was William Tell, who shot an arrow through an apple while standing on his son's head. 15. Queen Elizabeth was the "Virgin Queen." As a queen she was a success. When she exposed herself before her troops they all shouted "hurrah." 16. It was an age of great inventions and discoveries. Gutenberg invented removable type and the Bible. Another important invention was the circulation of blood. Sir Walter Raleigh is a historical figure because he invented cigarettes and started smoking. And Sir Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100 foot clipper. 17. The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies, and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couplet. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet. 18. Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. He wrote Donkey Hote. The next great author was John Milton. Milton wrote Paradise Lost. Then his wife died and he wrote Paradise Regained. 19. During the Renaissance America began. Christopher Columbus was a great navigator who discovered America while cursing about the Atlantic. His ships were called the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Fe. 20. Later, the Pilgrims crossed the ocean, and this was called Pilgrim's Progress. The winter of 1620 was a hard one for the settlers. Many people died and many babies were born. Captain John Smith was responsible for all this. 21. One of the causes of the Revolutionary War was the English put tacks in their tea. Also, the colonists would send their parcels through the post without stamps. Finally the colonists won the War and no longer had to pay for taxis. Delegates from the original 13 states formed the Contented Congress. Thomas Jefferson, a Virgin, and Benjamin Franklin were two singers of the Declaration of Independence. Franklin discovered electricity by rubbing two cats backwards and declared, "A horse divided against itself cannot stand." Franklin died in 1790 and is still dead. 22. Soon the Constitution of the United States was adopted to secure domestic hostility. Under the constitution the people enjoyed the right to keep bare arms. 23. Abraham Lincoln became America's greatest Precedent. Lincoln's mother died in infancy, and he was born in a log cabin which he built with his own hands. Abraham Lincoln freed the slaves by signing the Emasculation Proclamation. On the night of April 14, 1865, Lincoln went to the theater and got shot in his seat by one of the actors in a moving picture show. The believed assinator was John Wilkes Booth, a supposedly insane actor. This ruined Booth's career. 24. Meanwhile in Europe, the enlightenment was a reasonable time. Voltaire invented electricity and also wrote a book called Candy. 25. Gravity was invented by Issac Walton. It is chiefly noticeable in the autumn when the apples are falling off the trees. 26. Johann Bach wrote a great many musical compositions and had a large number of children. In between he practiced on an old spinster which he kept up in his attic. Bach died from 1750 to the present. Bach was the most famous composer in the world and so was Handel. Handel was half German half Italian and half English. He was very large. 27. Beethoven wrote music even though he was deaf. He was so deaf he wrote loud music. He took long walks in the forest even when everyone was calling for him. Beethoven expired in 1827 and later died for this. 28. The French Revolution was accomplished before it happened and catapulted into Napoleon. Napoleon wanted an heir to inherit his power, but since Josephine was a baroness, she couldn't have any children. 29. The sun never set on the British Empire because the British Empire is in the East and the sun sets in the West. 30. Queen Victoria was the longest queen. She sat on a thorn for 63 years. She was a moral woman who practiced virtue. Her death was the final event which ended her reign. 31. Louis Pasteur discovered a cure for rabbis. Charles Darwin was a naturalist who wrote the Organ of the Species. Madman Curie discovered radio. And Karl Marx became one of the Marx brothers. 32. The First World War, caused by the assignation of the Arch-Duck by an anahist, ushered in a new error in the anals of human history.

Learning Through The Years

·       I've learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing "Silent Night".

- Age 5

·       I've learned that our dog doesn't want to eat my broccoli either.
- Age 7

·       I've learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back.
- Age 9

·       I've learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mom makes me clean it up again.
- Age 12

·       I've learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
- Age 14

·       I've learned that although it's hard to admit it, I'm secretly glad my parents are strict with me.
- Age 15

·       I've learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice.
- Age 24

·       I've learned that brushing my child's hair is one of life's great pleasures.
- Age 26

·       I've learned that wherever I go, the world's worst drivers have followed me there.
- Age 29

·       I've learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
- Age 30

·       I've learned that there are people who love you dearly but just don't know how to show it.
- Age 42

·       I've learned that you can make some one's day by simply sending them a little note.
- Age 44

·       I've learned that the greater a person's sense of guilt, the greater his or her need to cast blame on others.
- Age 46

·       I've learned that children and grandparents are natural allies.
- Age 47

·       I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.
- Age 48

·       I've learned that singing "Amazing Grace" can lift my spirits for hours.
- Age 49

·       I've learned that motel mattresses are better on the side away from the phone.
- Age 50

·       I've learned that you can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
- Age 51

·       I've learned that keeping a vegetable garden is worth a medicine cabinet full of pills.
- Age 52

·       I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you miss them terribly after they die.
- Age 53

·       I've learned that making a living is not the same thing as making a life.
- Age 58

·       I've learned that if you want to do something positive for your children, work to improve your marriage.
- Age 61

·       I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.
- Age 62

·       I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catchers mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.
- Age 64

·       I've learned that if you pursue happiness, it will elude you. But if you focus on your family, the needs of others, your work, meeting new people, and doing the very best you can, happiness will find you.
- Age 65

·       I've learned that whenever I decide something with kindness, I usually make the right decision.
- Age 66

·       I've learned that everyone can use a prayer.
- Age 72

·       I've learned that it pays to believe in miracles. And to tell the truth, I've seen several.
- Age 75

·       I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.
- Age 82

·       I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love that human touch-holding hands, a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.
- Age 90

·       I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.
- Age 92 

 

 

 

Lessons From My Dad

Over the years I have been writing life stories for my grandchildren. I have now completed almost 300 pages for them.  Some of them have appeared in previous blogs and I have decided to share others as I am doing today.   

Fortunate is the man who has a godly Father who shows him how to live. I was very fortunate to have a father who did just that, not always with his words but certainly with his actions and example.  This had a profound impact on my life.  As we approach Father's Day I wish that I could thank him again for all he meant to me and all he taught me about living.  In addition, on June 21, dad would have been 97 if the Lord wouldn't have graciously taken him home over five years ago.

     So as I approach these two dates my mind has been going back to some of the lessons that I learned from him.  This list certainly isn't complete but it does include several things that quickly come to my mind.

     (1)   There is no question that the most important lesson he taught me was that there is nothing in life more important than knowing the Lord and serving Him.  He demonstrated this daily in the way he led our family and how he served the Lord.

     (2)   All that we have belongs to the Lord and should be used for Him.  Our home was always open for hospitality and ministry.  Our car was used weekly to take others to church.  As I learned later in life, dad sacrificed financially to keep our young church afloat when church bills couldn't be met.  He realized that anything he had came from the Lord and really belonged to the Lord.

     (3)    He showed us that it is vital to exercise the spiritual gifts that we have been given.  It didn't matter how old you were physically, there was no retirement option in serving the Lord.  He showed this by working to the very last hours of his life completing conference finances and reports.

     (4)    He demonstrated that it is critical to provide for your family even if it meant having to work several parttime jobs to do this.  He worked hard so that mother could be a mother and a housewife and care at home for us.  He knew how to work very hard and how to work to represent and serve the Lord.

     (5)    He showed us how to trust the Lord when disappointments came along.  He grew up in the depression and then had to scrape for jobs following World War II.  And then, later in life he suddenly and unexpectedly lost his job to downsizing.  But he never complained and the Lord continued to provide jobs each day for him until he finally retired.  He knew God would provide.

      (6)  He taught us to live and work with integrity, to be reliable, responsible and honest.  He taught us how to be organized, a lesson that I saw in practice when I served as executor of his estate.  He taught us how to live on a budget and keep detailed records of our expenses, a lesson that has helped us survive adequately in years when teaching salaries were minimal and my wife served as a stay at home mother and housewife as my mother did.

     (7)   He showed us how to take time to help and encourage others who were in need.  Both of my parents gave up many of their things and time to help those who were in need.

    (8)   From him we learned by example that one needs to be faithful in your church attendance, your ministry, your work and your responsibilities as a father and head of the home.

     (9)  He taught me how to speak correct English.  I admit that at times I didn't appreciate being corrected, but he knew how important proper English would be throughout life.

     (10)   He taught us to honor, respect and encourage our pastors.  Maybe it was because he saw how some members treated his stepfather who raised him as a pastor's son.  It was always wrong to criticize and undermine the pastor.  As an elder he worked very hard to see that the pastor was taken care of, especially financially.

      (11)  And a lesson that I've tried to pass on to my sons, treat your wife/mother with full respect.  Don't allow your children to raise their voices, criticize or disobey their mother. Doing so was a major offense. He would never, never allow that and neither have I.  

     (12)   Family is important.  No matter how busy dad was with work and church responsibilities, he always had time for family.  And most importantly, he was a true prayer warrior for everyone, but especially for his family.  He maintained a prayer list and family members were always at the top of the list.  That is a great gift.

     Now some of you may say, Barry that is great, but God didn't give me a godly father.  That may be true, but that gives you even a greater responsibility today to start to be a godly man or a godly woman.  Put Christ first in all of your life and begin a Christian heritage for those who follow you.  Dianne and I have complied a list of things we've wanted to pass on to our family and we've posted that list on our living room wall where we are reminded regularly of our responsibility to them.  There is nothing more important that you can do than modeling godliness to your family.  If you haven't, get started today.rs will appreciate it.

62

          Have you found that time often flies more quickly than you ever expect?  If not, you probably are too young without many exciting life experiences.
          Today I am recalling 62 years that have passed so fast that I don't know where they have gone.  62 years ago I was a student at Susquehanna University when I made the decision to join Dianne Bickle in matrimony.  It was the beginning of something very special.

     Over the years the Lord has blessed our lives together with three wonderful sons, three beautiful daughters-in-law, seven special grandchildren, one great grandson and a second on the way.  We are so thankful for all of them.

         We have had great ministries, a family ministry plus an Awana ministry each for over 30 years, music ministries, writing ministries and teaching ministries. We have been blest.  We have enjoyed over 30 trips to major cities where  we attended and Barry often spoke at major national math conventions.

          We also spent a week in Washington D.C. where we met President Reagan who honored Barry with  the Presidential Award for Excellence in Teaching Mathematics.  What a wonderful experience!

          But we have also walked with the Lord through some difficult days.  We almost lost our first child when he was four months old.  Dianne has suffered for years with ulcerative colitis (24 colonoscopies), she has a pacemaker and had a heart valve replaced.  I have had five heart by-passes, three back surgeries, gall bladder surgery and numerous kidney stones.

          Now that we are both in our mid 80's we are finding new physical challenges that have really slowed us down.  But while we need much more assistance and are somewhat homebound and handicapped, God has not failed us and our trust is still in Him. He has not left us or failed us.

          Time has flown and at 2 pm on this Sunday we will celebrate our 62^nd wedding anniversary – 62 wonderful years!

Learning Styles (LB)

"Looking Back" is a feature in which I choose a previous blog which I have written, rewrite it and share it once again.  This one was first posted in 2013.

         Did you ever take one of those personality tests that labels you one of four types or a mixture of two?   There are many of those tests around and they use different labels that mean the same thing.  
          The last one that I took was at Awana Commanders College and one that Awana uses. It labels you as one of four colors.  It was especially interesting because after our color was identified, we were given a group project to complete.  And after working with our group for several hours it was very easy to see all four colors at work in the individuals in our group.  It really helped us to see the theory applied.

         Now these tests show that I am an analyzer, organizer, and administrator, and that is certainly true.  That certainly coordinates with my interest and experience in mathematics and computers.  But it also shows that I am not very verbal and there is some truth to that.  I do like to write, but most of my 30+ years experience in working for newspapers involved writing where I wasn't rushed.  I could analyze and organize and then write.  
         The same is true of my blogs.  However, I'm not sure how I can justify that completely with my experience in the classroom.  For some reason, when I was in the classroom, my verbal deficiencies never bothered me.  They would come alive.  I thoroughly enjoyed teaching and miss it to this day.  Of , I taught math which was very logical.  And I think I handled myself well when I was leading our family ministry or when I lead hymn sings, etc.  But in those cases, I do prepare most of my comments in advance.

         I do not enjoy playing most games, especially those where you must perform before the group or those that involve things like trivia and fast thinking.  I need time to analyze and just don't enjoy being pressured to perform or come up with a quick answer. I avoid them whenever I can. But give me a problem or puzzle where I have time to analyze it and I will work and most likely solve it.   
           I once heard a Bible teacher, who was like me, say he was sure that there won't be games in heaven.  I've often hoped that he was right.

          Now besides my dislike for games, my verbal limitations make me cringe when I need to participate in group discussions, including Bible studies.  Folks who are verbal can quickly respond while I sit there listening and analyzing before I am willing to make a response.  
          For about a dozen years I had to participate in a monthly administrative discussion group.  The majority of the participants were very verbal folks who always had responses, while I would sit and analyze.  My boss, who was very verbal but not very analytical, used to chastise me because I didn't participate more.  I dreaded those sessions and the pressure put on me to perform like all the verbal participants. That boss wasn't very tolerant of learning styles that were different from his and I had to learn to accept that.

         Now this might shock you, but I also don't enjoy praying in public or even in small groups.  It isn't because I don't believe in prayer, because I certainly do.  It isn't because I don't share the needs of others, because I certainly do. And I do pray regularly - by myself - and I know that God hears me. But I often find it difficult to quickly find the right words to pray out loud when others are listening.  So many folks, especially women, can just pray so beautifully, finding all the right words and phrases to convey their requests.  Not me.  Sometimes I think others must feel that I am not very spiritual when I don't volunteer to pray publicly. But does the Lord find their public prayers more important than my private ones?  I really don't think so.

         Now why am I sharing this personal information with you?  The older I get, the more aware I am becoming of differences in personalities and learning styles.  God did not make us all the same - fortunately.  But so often we try to force everyone into our mold and we judge them because they aren't the same as us.  
          That is a real challenge for the classroom teacher and I had to recognize this since those who were analyzers like me often excelled in math.  Those who were verbal or had different learning styles would struggle if I, as their teacher, didn't recognize and adjust to this.  But whether you are style yellow, red, green, blue or some other label, God made you as you are, for a particular reason.  

          My prayer (in private) is that you will use your styles for the Lord and that each of us will be more understanding of those who aren't the same as us.

Milkmen

Years ago, there were milkmen who would deliver milk directly to our homes each morning.  It was a stressful job because of the weather and the expectations of some of the customers.  Here is a collection of some of the crazy situations they dealt with.

 

"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one."

"Please leave an extra pint of paralyzed milk."

"Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it."

"Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby, and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks."

"Sorry about yesterday's note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way 'round."

"When you leave my milk, knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you to give me a hand to turn the mattress."

"Please knock. My TV's broken down, and I missed last night's Sopranos. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened?"

"My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver, or do I have to shake the bottle?"

"Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbor told me."

"Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it."

"From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays when I don't want any milk."

"My back door is open. Please put milk in 'fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight."

"Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday... or is it today?"

"When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out, and put newspaper inside the screen door. P.S. Don't leave any milk."

"No milk. Please do not leave milk at No.14 either as he is dead until further notice."

Re: Meet the Family

Greetings!

After much careful research it has been discovered that the artist Vincent Van Gogh had many relatives. Among them were:

His obnoxious brother...

• Please Gogh

His dizzy aunt ...

• Verti Gogh

The brother who ate prunes...

• Gotta Gogh

The brother who worked at a convenience store...

• Stopn Gogh

The brother who bleached his clothes white...

• Hue Gogh

The cousin from Illinois...

• Chica Gogh

His magician uncle...

• Wherediddy Gogh

His Mexican cousin...

• Amee Gogh

The Mexican cousin's American half brother...

• Grin Gogh

The nephew who drove a stage coach...

• Wellsfar Gogh

The constipated uncle...

• Cant Gogh

The ballroom dancing aunt...

• Tan Gogh

The bird lover uncle...

• Flamin Gogh

His nephew psychoanalyst...

• E Gogh

The fruit loving cousin...

• Man Gogh

An aunt who taught positive thinking...

• Wayto Gogh

The little nephew...

• Poe Gogh

A sister who loved disco...

• Ahgo Gogh

And his niece who travels the country in a van...

• Winnie B. Gogh
  

Creative Scientific Theories

Creative Scientific Theories

These are the results of a "Creative Scientific Theories Contest" sponsored by Omni magazine:

*GRAND PRIZE WINNER: When a cat is dropped,it always lands on its feet. And when toast is dropped, it always lands with the buttered side facing down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat; the two will hover, spinning inches above the ground. With a giant buttered cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago.

*RUNNERS-UP: # 1 If an infinite number of rednecks riding in an infinite number of pickup trucks fire an infinite number of shotgun rounds at an infinite number of highway signs, they will eventually produce all the world's great literary works in Braille.

#2 Why yawning is contagious: You yawn to equalize the pressure on your eardrums. This pressure change outside your eardrums unbalances other people's ear pressures, so they must yawn to even it out.

#3 The earth may spin faster on its axis due to deforestation. Just as a figure skater's rate of spin increases when the arms are brought in close to the body, the cutting of tall trees may cause our planet to spin dangerously fast.

*HONORABLE MENTIONS: #1 The quantity of consonants in the English language is constant. If omitted in one place, they turn up in another. When a Bostonian "pahks" his "cah," the lost r's migrate southwest, causing a Texan to "warsh" his car and invest in "erl wells."

#2 Birds take off at sunrise. On the opposite side of the world, they are landing at sunset. This causes the earth to spin on its axis.

A New Ministry

          So many things change as one grows older.  Some are expected, others are not.  Many changes are a challenge to deal with.

          I have had a challenge dealing with changes in ministry.  As a Christian I believe that I should be using my time and abilities to serve the Lord.  But sometimes these opportunities change.  For most of my years I could minister with music, with leadership, with teaching, with dealing with finances, and other similar situations.

          But time eliminated many of these opportunities.  The biggest challenges came when physical problems prevented me from going to church or even visiting anybody.  This has been a challenge and hard to deal with.

          I've asked the Lord for new opportunities.  He first reminded me of my two weekly blogs where I have unique opportunities to share with folks around the world.  He then reminded me of my leadership on our church prayer chain where I get to share prayer requests and answers daily.

          But then he provided me with a new opportunity which I now realize is a new ministry.  Last year my wife was asked to become a pen pal with a youngster in the Lancaster school District.  So, each month she corresponded with this young lady and shared with her.

          This year I was also asked to participate and I was assigned a fourth grader from a city school.  Now I don't know much about city fourth graders, especially girls.  But I am learning.  My pen pal is an African-American young lady who came to Lancaster from New York.

          I've observed that there doesn't seem to be any men in her life.  Everything she talks about is with her mother or grandmother.   She enjoys computer games and television.

          But what concerns me most is the apparent lack of any Christian influence in her life.  References to Christmas and Easter showed no understanding of their meaning.  This is what showed me that this is a real ministry for me – one that I never expected.  I am praying that somehow the Lord will grant me the words to share with her that might lead her sometime to Jesus.

          This is one ministry that I really need the Lord to guide because I don't feel capable on my own.  Will you join me in praying for my young female pen pal who needs the Lord?

Not Luck!

Over the years I have been writing life stories for my grandchildren. I have now completed almost 300 pages for them.  Some of them have appeared in previous blogs and I have decided to share others as I am doing today.             

          Life is filled with many unexpected events.  Many folks will say these events are just luck or coincidences.  But those of us who claim to know the Lord Jesus Christ know that our life events are part of His plan for us and not just coincidences.  Maybe they are even special miracles.  During the past three months we have had many of these special events which have been orchestrated by the Lord.

         If you have been reading my recent blogs you may be aware of the discovery of a very serious spinal condition that could have led to paralysis or even death if it had not been discovered.  A trip to the ER for expected heart issues led to this diagnosis.  A special surgeon who is normally booked many months in advance agreed to see me almost immediately.  This led to unexpected cervical spine surgery which replaced two discs, removed calcium behind three discs which had compressed my spinal cord and the removal of a spur. 

          Even the surgeon didn't anticipate this much damage and wasn't sure if he could correct it all.  But we prayed and he was able to do it all in 4 1/2 hours.  Coincidence?  Luck?  No, just a special intervention by the Lord.

         Now I had numerous limits following surgery, including not being allowed to drive.  I still can't lift more than 15 lbs. and complete healing may take up to a year.  Three days after my surgery my wife had her annual colonoscopy required for her ulcerative colitis.  Numerous biopsies were taken.  PTL, they all came back negative.  And the Lord was continuing to be in control with special blessings or even miracles.

          Several weeks ago, about 15 hours before my appointment to get cleared to drive again, Dianne passed out while we were putting a puzzle together.  We should have called 911 but she revived quickly and didn't want to go to the ER.  The next morning we went to her doctor who thought it might have been a TIA or a brief seizure.  He wanted to send her to a neurologist but I suggested that she see her heart doctor instead.  Then we found that the first opening with her heart doctor wasn't until September.  I wanted her seen right away so they set us up with another doctor in the same group.  He ordered more blood tests and a 24 hour monitor and promised to call as soon as he got the results.

          When he failed to call back we asked to see another doctor in their group and this one reviewed the test results with us and then ordered a chemical stress test.  They wanted it done in their facility but couldn't do it there for two weeks.  So I suggested checking with the hospital and they were able to take her, would you believe, at 7:15 the very next morning.      

     The Lord was continuing to work things out because when her test began we were surprised and pleased to find out that her regular heart doctor was actually on duty in the hospital that day.  He then was able to monitor her throughout the day.  I must admit that this surprise boosted my confidence and reminded me how that the Lord was really in charge.

          There were some problems with the stress test so the doctor suggested that while she was already there they should do a heart cath. If they found a blockage they would keep her overnight and do surgery the next morning.   But when the tests came back fine he then suggested that her electrical system should be tested.  We were then able to schedule another doctor in their group and see her July 3, the day before we were headed to Pinebrook and she was leaving for vacation.  And we were able to schedule Dianne's heart test the day we both returned home from our vacations.  Timing and availability a coincidence?  No!

          So on that Monday, at 6 am, she entered LGH where they went into her heart and examined the electrical responses.  About an hour into the test they called me and said that she actually needed a pacemaker.  I told them to go ahead and they implanted one while she was still out.  Later they did find some sort of glitch happened exactly at 11:51, probably from an external source and they never could figure out what caused it but her pacemaker was right on otherwise.  

          So, against my desires, they discharged her at 5 in the afternoon. They told me that if there was any problem we should call 911.  That suggestion didn't make me feel anymore comfortable, but seeing how God had been working everything out, I still knew He was in control ... and He was.  She actually slept in bed that night and everything appears to be slowly healing well.

          Now she can't drive for at least six weeks, but in God's perfect timing I now can.  And she is limited in what she may lift and she is not allowed to place her left arm above her shoulder for at least six weeks.  So we are a good pair and we often laugh about our restrictions together.  And it appears to be working fine, although I have much to learn about cooking, washing and cleaning.  

          But those are lessons I really need to learn anyway.  The one thing we haven't resolved is how I comb her hair.  All I've ever dealt with is my short hair and so this is a challenge.  One thing sure - I'll never be a hair dresser.

          But even more sure than that, God is good, all the time and all of our moments are in His hands. 

 

How Are You? (LB)

"Looking Back" is a feature in which I choose a previous blog which I have written, rewrite it and share it once again.  This one was first posted in 2013.

          Those of you who know me personally know that one of my pet peeves are folks who walk by me and say "how are you doing?"  Then they keep on walking.  They don't want an answer.  They really don't care how I am doing and don't want to take the time to find out.  It is just a greeting.  I'd much prefer that they just say "hi".  Sometimes if they pause, I'll answer something like "hanging in there", but generally they don't even wait to hear that.  
          Now a few of my friends answer "better than I deserve" which is probably a good answer, but even that becomes meaningless to those who ask the question.  I've often wondered what a person would do if I responded, "Just wait a moment and let me tell you how I am really doing."   Maybe that would cure them.

       Today we live in a world where we pass people all the time who are living with fears and worries and nobody really seems to care.  We pass them and ignore them, or nod our heads at them, or greet them with the "how are you doing?" meaningless question.  And we probably don't want to be held up to hear what is going on in their lives.  We are too busy or are hung up on our own problems to really care about them.  
          When I think about this, I often think of the words written by Steve Green, "Everyday they pass me by, I can see it in their eyes, Empty people filled with care, Headed who knows where? On they go through private pain, Living fear to fear. Laughter hides their silent cries, Only Jesus hears. People need the Lord, people need the Lord. At the end of broken dreams, He's the open door."

         I had a friend who was going through some difficult times and I hadn't seen him for awhile. Several times I had good intentions and had planned to really ask his wife how things were going.  But, I didn't, she passed by me, and I just greeted her with a "hi".  Then I received a telephone call that he had committed suicide.  I was stunned, but I guess not surprised.  When I look back, I guess I saw many of the signs, but didn't really think it would come to this.  But it did and it is so sad.

       Now this isn't the first time that suicide has affected friends of ours and unfortunately, in this day and age, it probably won't be the last.  Not too long ago a son of a friend of ours ended his life.  And there have been others.  Suicide has become very common in today's society.  And it has a terrible impact upon those who are left behind.  But, in a sense, while I can't condone it, I can understand why it happens.  If you don't have the Lord as your companion, it can be very hard to deal with loneliness and uselessness and hopelessness and illness.  It is hard to know what there is to live for in such circumstances.

       According to experts there are numerous warning signs. •  Appearing depressed or sad most of the time. (Untreated depression is the number one cause for suicide.)  •  Talking or writing about death or suicide.  •  Withdrawing from family and friends. •  Feeling hopeless. •  Feeling helpless. •  Feeling strong anger or rage. •  Feeling trapped -- like there is no way out of a situation. •  Experiencing dramatic mood changes. • Abusing drugs or alcohol.  •  Exhibiting a change in personality.  •  Acting impulsively.  •  Losing interest in most activities.  •  Experiencing a change in sleeping habits. •  Experiencing a change in eating habits. •  Losing interest in most activities. •  Performing poorly at work or in school. •  Giving away prized possessions. •  Writing a will. •  Feeling excessive guilt or shame. •  Acting recklessly.   It should be noted that some people who die by suicide do not show any suicide warning signs.  But about 75 percent of those who die by suicide do exhibit some suicide warning signs.

         So, with this recent experience I guess I have been challenged to be more concerned about how people are doing and if I can't do anything to help them, I certainly can pray for them faithfully.  

          And, by the way, please don't greet me with "How are you doing?", unless you really want to know.

Rainy Weather Humor

Nothing personal against Seattleites - feel free to change it to any other place that gets a lot of rain.

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A newcomer to Seattle arrives on a rainy day. She gets up the next day and it's raining. It also rains the day after that, and the day after that. She goes out to lunch and sees a young kid and out of despair asks, "Hey, kid, does it ever stop raining around here?"

The kid says, "How should I know? 
I'm only 6."

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"I can't believe it, " said the tourist. "I've been here an entire week and it's done nothing but rain. When do you have summer here?"

"Well, that's hard to say, " replied the local. "Last year, it was on a Wednesday."

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Q. What do you call two straight days of rain in Seattle?

A. A weekend

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What did the Seattle native say to the Pillsbury Doughboy?

"Nice tan."

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Did you know that Cinderella was a Seattle native?

Who else would need a fairy to get to the ball?

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Meteorological experts were predicting a gargantuan flood that would destroy the world.

The Pope went on worldwide TV and said, "This is punishment from God. Prepare to meet your Maker."

The President went on national TV and announced, "Our scientists have done all they can. The end is near."

The Seattle evening news came on and said, "Today's five day forecast-same as usual."

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What does daylight savings time mean in Seattle?

An extra hour of rain.

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It rains only twice a year in Seattle: August to April and May to July.