Guy Talk

I often here husbands and wives say that they don't understand what their spouse is saying or even more importantly, thinking.  I recently found a "Men's Thesaurus" that tries to explain what men mean.  So maybe this will help your marriage, if you need help.  1.  "IT'S A GUY THING"  Translated: "There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."  2. "CAN I HELP WITH DINNER?" Translated: "Why isn't it already on the table?"    3. "IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN" Translated: "I have no idea how it works."   4. "TAKE A BREAK, HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD." Translated: "I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."   5. "THAT'S INTERESTING, DEAR." Translated: "Are you still talking?"   6. "YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS." Translated: "I remember the theme song to 'F Troop,' the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the vehicle identification number of every car I've ever owned... but I forgot your birthday."   7. "OH, DON'T FUSS -- I JUST CUT MYSELF. IT'S NO BIG DEAL." Translated: "I have actually severed a limb but will bleed to death before I admit that I'm hurt."   8. "HEY, I'VE GOT MY REASONS FOR WHAT I'M DOING." Translated: "And I sure hope I think of some pretty soon."   9. "I CAN'T FIND IT." Translated: "It didn't fall into my outstretched hands, so I'm completely clueless."   10. "WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?" Translated: "What did you catch me at?"   11. "I HEARD YOU." Translated: "I haven't the foggiest clue what you just said and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well enough so that you don't spend the next three days yelling at me."   12. "YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE." Translated: "I am used to the way you yell at me and realize it could be worse."   13. "YOU LOOK TERRIFIC." Translated: "Oh, please don't try on one more outfit. I'm starving."   14. "I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE." Translated: "No one will ever see us alive again."    15. "WE SHARE THE HOUSEWORK." Translated: "I make the messes; she cleans them up."    16. "UH HUH," "SURE, HONEY," OR "YES, DEAR"  Translated: Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response.