AN AFTER-HOLIDAY POEM
from a woman's perspective
from a woman's perspective
'Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The cookies and cakes, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please".
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt -
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So - away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll only chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibbled, the eggnog I'd taste,
At the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber),
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,
The cookies and cakes, the bread and the cheese,
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please".
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt -
I said to myself, as I only can,
"You can't spend a winter disguised as a man!"
So - away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie - not even a lick.
I'll only chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore.
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot.
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!
[forwarded by JR Whitby]
A HOLIDAY POEM
FROM A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE
Just remember that you have nothing to fear
If about her new pounds and her new daily diet
You learn a great lesson and stay very quiet.
Resist any temptation to open your mouth
Except to consume your pork and sauerkraut!
Today's Thoughts ........
2. "But I will sing of your strength, in the morning I will sing of your love; for you are my fortress, my refuge in times of trouble." Psalm 59:16
3. Happy New Year to you and your loved ones.
No comments:
Post a Comment