Break, Enjoy, Laugh

          We all can use a laugh, especially during a difficult pandemic.  So let's take a break this week and enjoy some items which I have collected.  

          First, here are some signs that will be misread for certain.

          *   TOILET OUT OF ORDER., PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW.

          *   In a Laundromat:  AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT.

          *   In a London department store:  BARGAIN BASEMENT ON 2ND. FLOOR...

          *   In an office:   WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN.

          *   In another office:  AFTER TEA BREAK, STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD.

          *   Outside a secondhand shop:  WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

          *   Notice in health food shop window:   CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS...

          *   Spotted in a safari park :   ELEPHANTS - PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR.

          *   Seen during a conference:  FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1ST FLOOR.

          *   Notice in a farmer's field:   THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.

          *   Message on a leaflet:   IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS.

          *   On a repair shop door:   WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - AS THE BELL DOESN'T WORK.)

          Then there are some interesting headlines in newspapers.

     *   Man Kills Self Before Shooting Wife And Daughter:

     *   Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says:

     *   Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers:

     *   Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over:

     *   Miners Refuse to Work after Death:

     *   Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant:

     *   War Dims Hope for Peace:

     *   If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile:

     *   Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures:

     *   Enfield ( London ) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide:

     *   Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges:

     *   Man Struck By Lightning, Faces Battery Charge:

     *   New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group:

     *   Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft:

     *   Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

     *   Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

     *   Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors

And the winner is...

     *   Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

I hope these crazy thoughts have helped a little to brighten your day.  We all need to laugh a little to relieve the stress of daily living.