Safe And Secure!

Do I look like a terrorist? Are old guys who are growing bald with a little white hair remaining considered threats? Maybe it was my old inexpensive St. John's pants that fit a profile. I still don't know why I was picked out for special security checks while trying to enter the O'Hare Airport at Chicago. We progressed through the waiting line with no problem. My boarding pass and photo license were fine. I did have some trouble placing my things on the security line because when I took off my belt I almost lost my pants! So I had to hold up my pants while opening my brief case and emptying my pockets. But I made it. Then I came to the body scanner. I was fine until I had to hold my hands over my head. Fortunately, my pants stayed up. Nothing beeped so I assumed that I was fine and I moved ahead. But then I was stopped by security. I was first asked if I had anything in my pockets. I told them only my wallet. I was asked to remove it and hold it in front of me. I was then patted down. Fortunately my pants stayed up. Maybe I shouldn't have lost weight. But I wasn't done. The examiner then took my wallet, held it in front of me, and went through it. I guess it passed. But I still wasn't done. Next he went and got some sort of liquid and spread it over the palms of both of my palms. Then he pressed another piece of something on my palms and took it to some machine to be examined. Finally I received the approval to enter. I made it! Oh yes, I quickly put my belt back on. We were very early for our flight so we stayed about ten minutes and watched other folks come through the check point. A few were stopped and patted down, but I didn't see anybody else receive all the checks that I did. I would have liked to ask why they were checking me so closely, but they didn't seem too friendly and I really didn't want to call any more attention to myself. The only other time that we had a problem with security at an airport was in Florida when one of us set off the alarm. But they got mixed up and checked out the wrong one of us. That mistake didn't make us feel much safer about flying. So I guess I'll never know what they suspected about me in Chicago. However, later I remembered that I did have surgery a few years ago and had a plate and seven screws placed in my right thumb. I was told by the surgeon that this would never cause any security problems. But now I wonder if with the new full body scans that might have set off an alarm. Or maybe the security folks just wanted to see my pants fall down. I guess I'll never know. But at least all the passengers on our plane flew in confidence knowing that I was thoroughly checked and no explosives were found.