The Challenges of Aging

          I enjoy siting and watching people.  I often do this while my wife is shopping and I am waiting for her in the car.  It is a very interesting "hobby" that has developed since I am now limited in how much walking I can do.

         Recently while waiting at a local grocery store I was sad to see the struggle that a few folks had trying to enter or leave the store.  Several were in worse shape than me.  First, one elderly man slowly crossed the parking lot with his cane.  He was so slow and in obvious pain, but he finally made it.  Then an elderly lady pulled in next to our car.  I couldn't see her and I wondered where she had gotten to.  Finally I realized that she was getting her walker out of the rear seat of her car.  It took almost ten minutes before she emerged and slowly struggled to the store's entrance.  There she exchanged her walker for a shopping cart and entered the store heavily leaning on the cart

          While I was in no shape to help them, I suffered just watching them.  As I related previously in one of my blogs, I wondered if they couldn't find anyone to help them with their shopping.  I should have told them that there were other stores where you could order your groceries online and they would load them in your car or even deliver them right to your home.  But, possibly since both were elderly, they might not have had computers or smart phones or maybe didn't know how to use them.

          It is so hard to get old.  Until recently I never knew how hard it really is.  And it comes at you so very fast - faster than you ever expected.  I used to think that getting old was partially a mental thing.  But when the body no longer works it is more than mental.

         Just a year ago, despite recent surgeries, I was able to do most  of the things around home - inside and outside.  No real problem doing so.  But suddenly I can do almost nothing myself.  It is frustrating and scary.  It is hard to feel helpless and realize there is little hope of improving.  And it is worse when your spouse reaches the same stage of life and becomes limited in what she can do.

         So what do you do when you suddenly reach this stage?  SOLUTION 1 - Well the first thing you try is to hire somebody to help you out.  So far we've been able to hire people to cut grass, shovel our snow, cut some of our trees, do our mulching and some of our trimming.  It is expensive, but it works.  However it is hard to find folks to do some of the work. Who is available and willing to do your weeding, planting of flowers and grass seed, removal of leaves, needed landscaping repairs and regular trimming of shrubs and trees?   We are looking for those that we can also pay to help us with these chores.  But they are hard to find.

          SOLUTION 2 - We are now using online shopping for our groceries.  We go online to Stauffers, place our order once a week, drive to the store at a designated time and they load our car.  That is a major help although we still need to carry them into our house and put them away.

          SOLUTION 3 - We've had a few people tell us that if we need anything we should call them.  Well, while they might mean that, they aren't really expecting to have to come and weed our flower beds or do other grunt work.  They mean things like go to the store for us.  So we don't ask and they don't offer again. It is very hard to ask somebody to help you. It is the same thing that happens after a funeral when well meaning folks disappear.  Folks say if you ever need anything, just call me.  But they soon forget and nothing is ever done.

          And when you've been a "giver" most of your life it is very difficult to suddenly become a "receiver".  But over the years we've had some unexpected provisions.  When my mother died a family from our church showed up unexpectedly and spent hours raking our many leaves.  Once when we lost many large branches in a storm another church family showed up unexpectedly and hauled them away for us.  And we have had a few surprises from neighbors who cleared our snow.  So, PTL, there are some good people who recognize the needs of the elderly and just step up to help them without being asked.  I hope the two folks I watched at the store have some kind folks who will come to help them out.
           Somebody from our church recently asked us why our family doesn't help.  Well they do and they would do anything that we asked them to do.  But our boys have very demanding jobs, long commutes to and from work, their own homes and families to care for and have limited extra time.  And they don't live here in our community.  And because of this probable same question by others we are reluctant to ask others for help.

         SOLUTION $ - Now there is another solution, move to a retirement home.  But that is expensive and very hard to do when you have 50 years of possessions in your present home and your home needs many expensive repairs  And it is something that you should probably have done years before you reach our present stage of life.
         It is also difficult when you have fewer opportunities to minister to others when physical limitations no longer allow you to do the things you have done for many years.  That is harder to deal with that dealing with the many needs around your house.  But we are the Lord's "workmanship" and somehow He can still use us no matter how old and limited we become.

         SOLUTION 6 - You just let things go - weeds overtake your flower beds, leaves collect, shrubs don't get trimmed, repairs don't get done.  But life changes and you learn to adjust, even though at times it is very hard to accept.
          SOLUTION 7 - You just move on, doing the best that you can, trusting the Lord.  You know some things will no longer get done and you must learn to live with that. You ask the Lord for the help that you need and you trust Him to work it out.  And He has promised to take care of all of our needs as we trust Him.  And over nearly 80 years of life He has always done that and we know that somehow He will continue to do so. And He is preparing a better home for us without repairs and upkeep and without personal pain. The Lord is the best and most reliable helper available for the elderly.  He does not forget them even when their bodies wear out and normal life becomes rather challenging.

          Isaiah 46:4 "I will be your God throughout your lifetime - until your hair is white with age. I made you, and I will care for you. I will carry you along and save you".

1     Look all around you, find someone in need,

Help somebody today!

Tho' it be little--a neighborly deed--

Help somebody today! 

Chorus:

Help somebody today,

Somebody along life's way;

Let sorrow be ended, the friendless befriended,

Oh, help somebody today! 

2    Many are 'waiting a kind, loving word,

Help somebody today!

You have a message, O let it be heard,

Help somebody today! Chorus:

Help somebody today,

Somebody along life's way;

Let sorrow be ended, the friendless befriended,

Oh, help somebody today

3    Many have burdens too heavy to bear,

Help somebody today!

Grief is the portion of some everywhere,

Help somebody today! 

Chorus:

Help somebody today,

Somebody along life's way;

Let sorrow be ended, the friendless befriended,

Oh, help somebody today

4    Some are discouraged and weary in heart,

Help somebody today!

Someone the journey to heaven should start,

Help somebody today! 

Chorus:

Help somebody today,

Somebody along life's way;

Let sorrow be ended, the friendless befriended,

Oh, help somebody today