Now in reflection we have had a very challenging year health wise. The year has included several surgeries, over 320 visits to doctors, cardio and pulmonary rehabs, physical therapy, and medical tests of all sorts. We've never had medical bills like we have had this year. It has been a long year.
At cardiac rehab each week they would ask my wife how our social life has been and what vacations we have taken. The weekly answer was that our social life was just going to doctors and to church. How true! Not even any breakfast visits with friends. And we've only been able to take one short vacation all year - no trips to the ocean at all this year.
And recent medical tests show us that the coming year could even be worse with more serious problems to deal with. I just received word of that possibility from a doctor right before Thanksgiving. Dianne may also get the same type of news from test results taken yesterday. Both of us are scheduled for more tests.
And as I write this blog, the day before Thanksgiving, I find it is so easy to be discouraged and concerned. It is easy to have a pity-party. It is so easy to forget the many promises that God has given us. It is so easy to forget His presence. It is so easy to forget what He has done for us in the past and what He has promised to do for us the future. How short sighted we can be.
Am I the only one who has ever felt this way? Have you? Well there are many others, including David who went through times of severe doubting and discouragement. He had to avoid Saul and flee for his life. And his psalms are filled with his discouragement but also his recognition of God's leading and blessing upon his life
"How long, O Lord? Will You forget me forever? How long will You hide Your face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long will my enemy be exalted over me, O Lord my God ... But I have trusted in Your mercy, My heart shall rejoice in Your salvation. I will sing to the Lord because He has dealt bountifully with me." Psalm 13: 1-2 ... 5-6.
At times David felt that God didn't even hear him or didn't care about his needs. He felt alone. Have you ever felt that way? I know that I have. But I also know that He has always been there and as His child He does care for me. Maybe it would be easier if I could just talk to Him face to face. Someday I will be able to do that. But now I can talk to Him at any moment or at any time of the day or the night. And believe me, I have spent much time doing that, especially during the long hours of the night.
Now as I sit here the Lord is reminding me of the many good things He has provided for me. I am now nearly eight decades old and have lived most of those years without any major physical problems. Many of my close friends never had that opportunity or blessing. And the surgeries I have had in the last few years have generally been successful. God has provided me with excellent surgeons and therapists. I am blessed.
Dianne is also reaching the eight decade mark. Although she has lived with a serious condition for many years, she didn't need surgeries until recently. Her last one was a miracle. After many tests she finally qualified for the new TAVR surgery to replace her aortic heart valve. It was an amazing surgery with a quick recovery. Of course we both still also battle with arthritis and kidney stones - ouch!
And God has blessed us in so many other ways - a great marriage, a wonderful family that is serving the Lord, a great job for 39 years, a family ministry for 25 years, serving in Awana for 38 years, a comfortable home, plenty of food, friends, a great heritage and so much more. He has been so good to us. Why should I worry or fret?
Now I realize that life can't always be filled with sunshine and roses, but I also know that God will be there in the dreary and stormy days. Do I really want to go through these stormy days? Not really, although I hope that I will learn from them. But I also know that He has a plan for me and that plan includes carrying me through the tough times and eventually taking me to the home He is preparing for me. And at this Thanksgiving I thank Him for that and rest in this truth. God is so good - all the time!
(1) Jesus will walk with me down thru the valley,
Jesus will walk with me over the plain;
When in the shadow or when in the sunshine,
If He goes with me I shall not complain.
Jesus will walk with me,
He will talk with me;
He will walk with me;
In joy or in sorrow, today and tomorrow,
I know He will walk with me.
(2) Jesus will walk with me when I am tempted,
Giving me strength as my need may demand;
When in affliction His presence is near me,
I am upheld by His almighty hand.
Jesus will walk with me,
He will talk with me;
He will walk with me;
In joy or in sorrow, today and tomorrow,
I know He will walk with me.
(3) Jesus will walk with me, guarding me ever,
Giving me victory thru storm and thru strife;
He is my Comforter, Counselor, Leader,
Over the uneven journey of life.
Jesus will walk with me,
He will talk with me;
He will walk with me;
In joy or in sorrow, today and tomorrow,
I know He will walk with me.
(4) Jesus will walk with me in life's fair morning,
And when the shadows of evening must come;
Living or dying, He will not forsake me.
Jesus will walk with me all the way home.
Jesus will walk with me,
He will talk with me;
He will walk with me;
In joy or in sorrow, today and tomorrow,
I know He will walk with me.
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