Valentines Day

          Valentines Day - a day when we think about love.  My favorite story about love this year is a true one.  We are thrilled that our oldest granddaughter has just become engaged.  We have prayed for her and a godly spouse long before either of them were born.  God is so good!

          But I thought this year I would share a few stories and comments about love which aren't nearly as true or exciting but they are fun.  At least I think so.

     **    A bookseller conducting a market survey asked a woman: "Which book has helped you most in your life?" The woman replied, "My husband's check book!"

     **   A prospective husband in a book store: "Do you have a book called 'Husband: the Master of the House?'" Sales girl: "Sir, fiction and comics are on the 1st floor!"

     **   Someone asked an old man: "Even after 70 years, you still call your wife 'darling, honey, love.' What's the secret?"  Old man: "I forgot her name and I'm scared to ask her."

     **   During my brother's wedding, mother managed to keep from crying until she glanced at my grandparents.  Grandmother had reached over to grandfather's wheelchair and gently touched his hand.  That was all that was needed to start mother's tears flowing.  After the wedding mother told grandmother how that tender gesture triggered her outburst. "Well I'm sorry to ruin your moment," grandmother replied, "but I was just checking to see if he was still alive."

     **   Sally was driving home from a business trip when she saw an elderly woman walking on the side of the road.  As the ride was long and quiet she decided to stop and offer her a ride. With a silent nod the woman got into the car.  Resuming the journey Sally tried in vain to make some small talk.  The old woman just sat silently looking at everything she saw.  Finally the old woman asked "What's in the bag?"  Sally smiled and replied that it was a box of chocolate she got for her husband.  The woman was silent once again until she replied, "Good trade."

     **   Pharmacist to customer: "Sir, please understand, to buy an anti-depression pill you need a proper prescription ... Simply showing marriage certificate and wife's picture is not enough!

     **   When a married man says, "I will think about it," what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.

     **   A lady says to her doctor: "My husband has a habit of talking in his sleep! What should I give him to cure it?" The doctor replies: "Give him an opportunity to speak when he's awake."

     **   An elderly man lay in a hospital with his wife of 60 years at his bedside. "Is that you, Ethel, at my side again?" he whispered.  "Yes, dear," she answered.  He softly said to her "Remember years ago when I was in the Veteran's Hospital?  You were there with me then.  You were with me when we lost everything in the fire. And, Ethel, when we were poor you were with me, too."  The man sighed and said, "I tell you, Ethel, you're bad luck!"

     **   Two older women were fussing about their husbands one day.  "I do wish Leroy would stop biting his nails.  That makes me terribly nervous!" the first one said.  "Oh my Elmer used to do the same thing," the other one relied.  "But I broke him of that habit." "what did you do?"  "I hid his teeth!"

     **   A woman goes to the newspaper office to see that the obituary for her recently deceased husband is published.  The obit editor informs her that there is a charge of 50 cents per word.  She pauses, reflects and then says, let it read "Fred Brown died."  Amused at the woman's thrift the editor tells her that there is a seven word minimum for all obituaries.   She thinks it over for a few seconds and says, "In that case let it read, "Fred Brown died.  Golf clubs for sale."