New Skills

     There are times in life when we are forced to learn new skills, not because we want to, but because we are forced to.  Admission to physical rehabs has done this.

     One thing I am learning is how to operate a wheel chair.  Monitoring steps has become a challenge. Dealing with inconsistent walkers can present a major challenge.  Some will go out of their way to hold doors for you while others seem to enjoy cutting you off and getting in your way,  Sadly there are few surprises.  Courtesy is no longer common.

     Climbing steps with a wheelchair can be difficult.  So much to learn!

Beware!

Beware of old women.  They can be devious.

 

A police officer pulled a woman over for speeding and had the following exchange:

 

Officer: May I see your driver's license?

 

Driver: I don't have one.  I had it suspended when I got my 5th DUI (Driving Under the Influence).

 

Officer: May I see the owner's card for this vehicle?

 

Driver: It's not my car.  I stole it.

 

Officer: The car is stolen?

 

Driver: That's right.  But come to think of it, I think I saw the owner's card in the glove box when I was putting my gun in there.

 

Officer: There's a gun in the glove box?

 

Driver: Yes sir.  That's where I put it after I shot and killed the woman who owns this car and stuffed her in the trunk.

 

Officer: There's a BODY in the TRUNK?!?!?

 

Driver: Yes, sir.

 

Hearing this, the officer immediately called his captain. The car was quickly surrounded by more police cars, and the captain approached the driver to handle the tense situation.

 

Captain: Sir, can I see your license?

 

Driver: Sure.  Here it is.

 

It was valid.

 

Captain: Who's car is this?

 

Driver: It's mine, officer.  Here's the registration.

 

Captain: Could you slowly open your glove box so I can see if there's a gun in it?

 

Driver: Yes, sir, but there's no gun in it.

 

Sure enough, there was nothing in the glove box.

 

Captain: Would you mind opening your trunk?  I was told you said there's a body in it.

 

Driver: No problem.

 

The trunk was opened; no body.

 

Captain: I don't understand it.  The officer who stopped you said you told him you didn't have a license, stole the car, had a gun in the glovebox, and that there was a dead body in the trunk.

 

Driver: Yeah, I'll bet he told you I was speeding, too.

Merry Christmas

   The last few months have been times of learning to trust the Lord more fully and experience His daily provision during times of unexpected challenges. We have seen the best and the worst of rehabilitation facilities and miracles only the Lord could do.

     Dianne spent two helpful weeks in rehab following knee replacement surgery.  Barry had some unfortunate experiences during four of the five visits which he had.  He was finally released from Tandem Living, a good rehab, on December 20, but he still needs more healing and daily care.

     However, we do rejoice in the many miracles we have experienced. through this long and unexpected journey.  God is so good!

     God continues to bless our family.  He has given us a second grandson, Luke has joined Malachi and his parents Dr. Daniel and Taylor Cetnar.  Uncle Dr. Joshua is doing medical research and his wife has had a good year teaching high school chemistry in New Jersey.  Noah graduated with a degree in optometry and is now working in two eye offices in Pennsylvania.

     Tim and Wendy's children are working on their college degrees. Chloe just finished her dissertation at the University of Maryland,      The last few months have been times of learning to trust the Lord more fully and experience His daily provision during times of unexpected challenges. We have seen the best and the worst of rehabilitation facilities and miracles only the Lord could do.

     Dianne spent two helpful weeks in rehab following knee replacement surgery.  Barry had some unfortunate experiences during four of the five visits which he had.  He was finally released from Tandem Living, a good rehab, on December 20, but he still needs more healing and daily care.

     However, we do rejoice in the many miracles we have experienced. through this long and unexpected journey.  God is so good!

     God continues to bless our family.  He has given us a second great grandson, Luke has joined Malachi and his parents Dr. Daniel and Taylor Cetnar.  Uncle Dr. Joshua is doing medical research and his wife has had a good year teaching high school chemistry in New Jersey.  Noah graduated with a degree in optometry and is now working in two eye offices in Pennsylvania.

     Tim and Wendy's children are working on their college degrees. Chloe just finished her dissertation at the University of Maryland,  Lexie just had her first book published at Susquehanna.  Brodie is completing his first year at Messiah majoring in microbiology.

      Because of all our time with doctors our times to minister have become very limited and Barry may be forced to give up his weekly blogs.  But we are very thankful for the many opportunities this has provided worldwide over the years.  God is so good.

        We pray that you have a very MERRY CHRISTMAS and a blessed NEW YEAR.  

Mid Life

A few thoughts to prepare you for mid life.

Maybe it's true that life begins at fifty, but everything else starts to wear out, fall out, or spread out.

There are three signs of old age. The first is your loss of memory, the other two I forget.

You're getting old when you don't care where your spouse goes, just as long as you don't have to go along.

Middle age is when work is a lot less fun -- and fun a lot more work.

Statistics show that at the age of seventy, there are five women to every man. Isn't that the worst time for a guy to get those odds?

You know you're getting on in years when the girls at the office start confiding in you.

Middle age is when it takes longer to rest than to get tired.

By the time a man is wise enough to watch his step, he's too old to go anywhere.

Middle age is when you have stopped growing at both ends, and have begun to grow in the middle.

A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you're into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

At my age, "getting a little action" means I don't need to take a laxative.

Don't worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

You're getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

You're getting old when you're sitting in a rocker and you can't get it started.

You're getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn't do anything the night before.

The cardiologist's diet: if it tastes good, spit it out.

It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.

You know you're getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

Are You Special?

It was a good time to be born and grow up.

 

The 1% Age Group"...

This special group was born between 1930 & 1946 = a 16-year span.   In 2022, the age range is between 76 & 92.

You are in the smallest group of children born since the early 1900's.

You are the last generation, climbing out of the Depression, who can remember the winds of war and the impact of a world at war that rattled the structure of our daily lives for years.

You are the last to remember ration books for everything from gas to sugar to shoes to stoves.

You saved tin foil and poured fat into tin cans.

You can remember milk being delivered to your house early in the morning and placed in the "milk box" on the porch.

You are the last generation who spent childhood without television; instead, you "imagined" what you heard on the radio.

With no TV until the 1950's, you spent your childhood "playing outside." There was no Little League.

There was no city playground for kids.

The lack of television in your early years meant that you had little real understanding of what the world was like.

Telephones were one to a house, often shared (party lines), and hung on the wall in the kitchen (no cares about privacy).

Computers were called calculators; they were hand-cranked.

Typewriters were driven by pounding fingers, throwing the carriage, and changing the ribbon.

'INTERNET' and 'GOOGLE' were words that did not exist.

Newspapers and magazines were written for adults, and the news was broadcast on your radio in the evening.

 

New highways would bring jobs and mobility.

The radio network expanded from 3 stations to thousands.
 
Your parents were suddenly free from the confines of the depression and the war, and they threw themselves into working hard to make a living for their families.
 
You weren't neglected, but you weren't today's all-consuming family focus.
 
They were glad you played by yourselves.
 
They were busy discovering the postwar world.
 
You entered a world of overflowing plenty and opportunity; a world where you were welcomed, enjoyed yourselves, felt secure in your future although the depression and poverty was deeply remembered.
 
Polio was still a crippler.
 
You came of age in the '50s and '60s.
 
You are the last generation to experience an interlude there were no threats to our homeland.
 
The second world war was over and the cold war, terrorism, global warming, and perpetual economic insecurity had yet to haunt life with unease.
 
Only your generation can remember both a time of great war and a time when our world was secure and full of bright promise and plenty.
 
You grew up at the best possible time, a time when the world was getting better.... 

 

More than 99% of you are retired and you should feel privileged to have "lived in the best of times!"

 

If you have already reached the age of 80 years old, you have outlived 99% of all the other people currently in the world! "You are a 1%'er"!

I qualify, do you?

God Forgive Me When I Whine

Today, upon a bus,

I saw a girl with golden hair.
I envied her, she seemed so gay,
And I wished I was as fair.

When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and used a crutch.
But as she passed, she gave a smile.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 legs, the world is mine.

I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
If I were late, it'd do no harm.

And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm blind."

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood and watched the others play.
He seemed not to know what to do.

I stopped a moment and then I said,
"Why don't you join the others dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
And then I knew he couldn't hear.

Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have 2 ears, the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine

Something for each of us to remember.  God knows and He cares!.

Heavenly Hazzard

A nun is sitting with her Mother Superior, chatting.

"I used some horrible language this week and feel absolutely terrible about it."

"When did you use this awful language?" asks the elder.

"Well, I was golfing and hit an incredible drive that looked like it was going to go over 280 yards, but it struck a phone line that's hanging over the fairway and fell straight down to the ground after going only about 100 yards."

'Is that when you swore?'

"No, Mother," says the nun.  "After that a squirrel ran out of the bushes and grabbed my ball in its mouth and began to run away."

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the Mother Superior again.

"Well, no." says the nun.  "You see, as the squirrel was running, an eagle came down out of the sky, grabbed the squirrel in his talons and began to fly away!"

"Is THAT when you swore?" asks the amazed elder nun.

"No, not yet.  As the eagle carried the squirrel away in its claws, it flew near the green and the squirrel dropped my ball."

"Did you swear THEN?" asked Mother Superior, becoming impatient.

"No, because the ball fell on a big rock, bounced over the sand trap, rolled onto the green, and stopped about a foot from the hole."

The two nuns were silent for a moment.

 

Then Mother Superior sighed and asked, "You missed the putt, didn't you?"

THink you know everything?

 

 

                   A dime has 118 ridges around the edge.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

A crocodile cannot stick out its tongue.

A dragonfly has a life span of 24 hours.

  

A "jiffy" is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

Al Capone's business card said he was a used furniture dealer.

All 50 states are listed across the top of the Lincoln Memorial on the back of the $5 bill.

 

Almonds are a member of the peach family.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Babies are born without kneecaps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2 to 6 years of age.

Butterflies taste with their feet.

 

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds. Dogs only have about 10.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

In the last 4,000 years, no new animals have been domesticated.

 

If the population of China walked past you, in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction.

If you are an average American, in your whole life, you will spend an average of 6 months waiting at red lights.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

 

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver, or purple.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

 

"Stewardesses" is the longest word typed with only the left hand and "lollipop" with your right.

The average person's left hand does 56% of the typing.

The sentence:  "The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter of the alphabet.

The words 'racecar,' 'kayak' and 'level' are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left (palindromes).

 

There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar. 

There are only four words in the English language which end in "dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous .

There are two words in the English language that have all five vowels in order: "abstemious" and "facetious."

 

There's no Betty Rubble in the Flintstones Chewable Vitamins.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard.

Winston Churchill was born in a ladies' room during a dance.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

  

 

 

There, now you know everything!!

A niracle

          Is it possible that a miracle by the Lord might actually be evident in the mess of the recent national election?  I for one think so. And it might be one that is easily missed. 

          Going into the night of the election, Harris appeared to have a large lead. She was the obvious leader – the woman running for president on an anti-abortion platform.   She had the backing of many stars and political leaders. She defended and supported LGBT supporters.  She promised money and tax relief to everyone.  How could see lose?

          But she did.  Surprise?  But not to God who among other things saw the prayers of believers and saw their hearts.  And he wasn't fooled or deceived and He surprised many of us by allowing Trump to win and pull an upset – maybe an actual miracle. Maybe God feels that compared to Harris that Trump with all his negatives  is still the better of the two representatives of believers.

          Now what bothered me about Harris?  First, her large support by modern and liberal artists.  Concerts, gifts and fund raising for liberal causes that had little to nothing to do with good governing practices.  That is a waste of good resources when people are dying with real needs.

          Then there were her interviews.  When asked if she had even ever gone to the border which was her assignment she replied with her silly laugh and said that she hadn't even been to New York.  What kind of answer is that?  Of course she included her strange laugh.  I guess that was supposed to be a joke.

          And of course, there were her jokes about Bidonomics – that really was not a joke.

          Then there was her promotion of us paying for the sex changes of imprisoned LGBT criminals.

         Now I imagine I may have insulted some of my readers with these honest comments.  But I felt I had to express my personal opinion.  I really believe God did a miracle in this election.  He is still I control.   

Winter Is Coming

         Fall is my favorite season of the year. I love the beautiful colors and the cooler temperatures. But, unfortunately it is too short and is suddenly followed by a dreary Fall and then by the cold and nasty winter.

          But the seasons of the year model the seasons of our lives.  Beautiful days of Fall are often suddenly replaced by dreary and sad days of winter with sudden pain and failing health.

          Unfortunately, I have watched many close friends go through these  days, passing into winter too quickly.  This is happening to too many of us now.

          This fall season of life can be tough. Your close friends, family, relatives and members of your church don't know what to say or do so they often disappear, making these very lonely times.  Often you wish for just a visit or even a phone call.  It's hard to be forgotten by others.  Where have all your friends gone when you really need them?

          You miss church and the fellowship you've enjoyed most of your life.  That gets replaced by visits to doctors and appointments for medical tests.  How nice it would be to take communion once again.

          Your church holds special events such as banquets, picnics, covered dishes, etc., but you can no longer attend.  All that good food and fellowship while you are living on whatever you can throw together to eat.  Oh, how nice it would be for somebody to bring you a plateful from the special gathering - maybe even a hot dog or a piece of pie.  It would show you that you haven't been forgotten during your winter season of life.

          But that's not the way it happens during your winter season of life … because no matter what people say – you are forgotten.  But not by everyone.  The Lord is always there when others fail.  Jesus never fails.  He leads us through our fall and finally through our winter season.  What a hope we have.

          Winter is coming.   Time flies quickly.  How do you want to be treated when your winter arrives?

         

Dangerous

          We've lived here since 1970 and have had few close neighbors – we were generally surrounded by open fields.  We certainly have not had many children. Trick or Treaters have never visited.

          But in recent years the fields across the street, on a hill, have been replaced with new homes squeezed into the open lots.  This has changed our neighborhood.  Because of the hill and the distance we have not gotten to know most of our new neighbors.  But it is easy to watch them from our living room.

          This has caused us some discomfort as we've watched their children who appear to be of middle school age.  They tear around on their bikes without helmets.  They speed down the driveways and onto the busy street while cars speed by,  much faster than the posted speed limit.  Close calls are common.  The hills are probably fun, but dangerous. No serious accidents have happened – at least not yet,  Hopefully - never.

          And when they are done racing they just drop their bikes on their lawn and leave them there.

          Now, should we do something?  Probably not. We don't know the parents and it isn't our business.  They aren't doing anything on or to our property.  So right now we just watch and pray.