Senior Alphabet

        Do you remember the new math or the modern math that you might have experienced as a student?   Our approaches to many things have changed over the years as we've looked for ways to make things more meaningful and easier to remember.
        Well our alphabet hasn't changed, but maybe the ways we use it have.  It appears that cursive writing is now out but keyboarding has now become essential for students today.  And in some cases the alphabet's meaning and representations have changed.  So, in case you've never seen it before, here is  "The New Alphabet for Older People".

A is for arthritis
B is for bad back
C is for the chest pains. Corned beef? Cardiac?
D is for dental decay and decline
E is for eyesight--can't read that top line
F is for fissures and fluid retention
G is for gas (which I'd rather not mention) and other gastrointestinal glitches
H is high blood pressure
I is for itches
J is for joints that are failing to flex

L  for libido--what happened to sex?
Wait!  I forgot about K for bad knees.  (I've got a few gaps in my M-memory)
N is for nerve (pinched) and neck (stiff) and neurosis
O is for osteo-  P is for porosis
Q is for queasiness. Fatal?  Just flu?
R is for reflux--one meal becomes two
S is for sleepless nights counting my fears
T is for tinnitus - bells in my ears
U is for difficulties urinary
V is for vertigo
W is worry  about what the X--as in X-ray - will find.  But though the word "terminal" rushes to mind,
I'm proud, as each   Y - year - goes by, to reveal  A reservoir of undiminished  Z - zeal - for checking the symptoms my body's deployed, and keeping my twenty-six doctors employed.

Maybe somebody could put this alphabet to music.   But I guess that would be a waste of time for we seniors would soon forget it anyway.

So there you are.  What, you say you don't understand this.  Well, hold on sonny.  Your day is coming, sooner than you would expect!