Many were the nights that this was our experience with our boys when they were growing up. Before they even went to school they would suddenly break out with high fevers. And you felt so helpless and alone, especially at night.
But those experiences happen as well when a spouse becomes ill. And recently I have had a number of those nights once again. And it is scary and stressful. However, unlike when our kids were small, we now have Christian radio and sometimes that is a help during those times. I've heard all the programs recently.
Now I know that the Lord is with me in those times. I know He has promised to never leave me or forsake me. And He never has. At times I have wished that He were there with me physically during those hours. And I know that I am to cast all my cares upon Him. I know that He is the great Physician and nothing is too hard for Him. And yet, even knowing all of this, I must admit that at times I wonder if He does hear me. But He does. And I wonder why He doesn't answer my urgent prayers quickly. But, in His time, He does. I know He promises peace and that He never gives us more than we can bear. But at times like this, sometimes I admit that I have trouble experiencing that head knowledge. And I must remember to look back and remember how He has taken care of me in those similar situations in the past. And eventually the morning does come.
Am I alone with these feelings in such times? I think not. Even David experienced these feelings in difficult situations and you can see that in his Psalms. Often He wondered if the Lord has abandoned Him. He wondered why God appeared to allow His enemies to prosper and not be punished. But He always returned to the truth that God had not left Him and that God had a plan for Him. And so, if you, like me, do have those feelings at times, realize that even a man like David had the same experiences. But despite our feelings, God is faithful. He is always there. And He knows all of our ways - in the night as well as in the day.
We never know what a day may bring. And I love the way that Brian Doerksen expressed these feelings for me in his song, "Your Faithfulness".
I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness
I don't know if these clouds mean rain
If they do, will they pour down blessing or pain?
I don't know what the future holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness
Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness
I don't know how or when I'll die
Will it be a thief, or will I have a chance to say goodbye?
No, I don't know how much time is left
But in the end, I will know your faithfulness
When darkness overwhelms my soul
When thoughts and storms of doubt
Still I trust You are always faithful, always faithful
Certain as the rivers reach the sea
Certain as the sunrise in the east
I can rest in your faithfulness
Surer than a mother's tender love
Surer than the stars still shine above
I can rest in your faithfulness
I don't know what this day will bring
Will it be disappointing, filled with longed for things?
I don't know what tomorrow holds
Still I know I can trust Your faithfulness
I'm sure that I will face more sleepless nights, but I will be reminded of His faithfulness and that morning does come. My prayer is that I will experience His presence and faithfulness during those times and that you will too.
In case you aren't familiar with this hymn you can listen to it here. LISTEN
If you don't know why it was written, you can hear Brian explain that here. TESTIMONY
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