The Joys Of Needing A Cane

          My parents always taught me to be considerate of and kind to those who were handicapped and to folks who were older than I was.  Any my Christian values have reinforced those lessons.  I have always tried to open doors for those who have needs, to give them room to move safely, to help them carry their things if needed and to be a help to them however I can.  And I have tried to do the same for elderly people who can't move too quickly anymore.
          But such actions appear to be decreasing in our society today.  I doubt that many teens and children are being taught manners, especially manners in helping those in need.  Much of that blame can be placed on parents who don't accept this responsibility and don't know what their children are actually doing. And many parents are just as bad and thoughtless and set a poor example.
          Now I guess by expressing such thoughts I am showing my age.  Some parents, adults, teens and children are courteous and considerate.  Some still have good manners.  And that is an encouragement to me.  But they appear to me to be a minority in an age where individual rights seem to trump common sense and good manners.  For many the attitude is "me first".
          Six months ago some physical problems forced me to start using a cane.  This has been an eye-opening experience.  I am slowly getting used to having folks rush ahead of me to get in a door at the mall or at stores.  I am getting used to those who let the doors close in front of me. I am getting used to being bumped and cut off.  I am getting used to motorists who don't slow down when I am trying to cross a street or go to my mailbox along our street.  In fact, sometimes I feel that some motorists actually speed up while I am at our mailbox and they see how close they can get to me.  I wonder how many points one gets for hitting an old man with a cane or at least making him almost stumble and fall.  And I haven't even mentioned being sprayed with water by speeding cars from puddles when it rains.
          But I guess my biggest disappointments have come in the way folks from so called Christian homes have acted around me and my cane.  Between our services at church we have a time of coffee and conversation.   Almost every Sunday I am almost run over by young kids who are running to get some food while I am trying to maneuver the opposite direction with my cane and my cup of coffee.  There are times that I have even spilled some coffee when hit by a youngster.  And never have I heard an "excuse me" or "I am sorry" in response. After all, I am in their way. Maybe I should spill the coffee on them or hit them with my cane, but such retaliation would prove nothing and would just get me in trouble with their parents.  And, by the way, where are their parents when this is happening? And I am not the only senior, with or without a cane, who must dodge these children each week.  Maybe this is a topic that should be addressed in our Awana program since it appears that it is not being addressed by parents.
           This summer we have spent two different weeks at a family Bible conference.  Since I am not able to stand for a long period of time and usually need my cane, we made it a practice to get to the dining hall early, sitting on a bench outside the entrance, to be near the front of the line.  That way, when the door opened I could get to the food line and get my meal without having to stand in line and balance my cane and meal.  But what usually happened was that just before the door would open, loads of children and teens would rush to the front.  And when the door opened they would push ahead of me and almost knock me over to get in. Food was more important than manners. And, unfortunately, some adults did the same.  Being a senior with a cane had no advantage and made no difference.  I was fair game and in their way.  And I ask again, where were the parents?   And  were the offending adults just that hungry?
          Years ago, when I was able, I often used to wait at the entrance door and hold the mob back until all the handicapped had a chance to enter the dining room first. I thought that was only fair and was helpful.  Believe it or not, not everyone, including some adults, thought that this wasn't fair and they said so.  Amazing!
          While I don't consider myself to be severely handicapped since I only need a cane, I have learned many lessons about people these past six months.  Showing good manners and being compassionate are no longer common traits and that is sad.  I have been learning myself to be more compassionate to those with such needs and I guess that is a lesson I always need to be reminded of.  And someday these offending folks will also grow old and experience physical problems.  Maybe then they'll understand what I am saying.
          But, let me sure to add, there are still those who do care.  I have seen that as well and I make sure to say "thank you" when I see such a person in action. I have had people let me go ahead of them and some have held a door open for me.  And there are parents who do teach manners and care about what their children are doing.  And that is a ray of light as I age and deal with new physical demands.