1. Your church has special reserved parking spaces for those who are over 65, as long as you can beat the other old guys to get there first and secure those special places.
2. If you have someone who always corners you and bores you talking about things that don't interest you, it is no longer a problem because you can't hear them anyway.
3. You get to met many new friends. For example, I've gotten to know Dr. Fuchs, Dr. Snyder, Dr. Bushong, Dr. Foley, Dr. Sieber, Dr. Clark, Dr. Miller, Dr. Givens, Dr. Eshleman, Dr. Dodge, Dr. Perezous, Dr. Roberts and many more.
4. And because you are retired you have plenty of time to make appointments to see all of your new friends whose names begin with Dr.
5. You don't need to search for a new health insurance plan due to Obama Care like others do because you have medicare. That really is good thing.
6. You don't have to worry about what to do with your excess money. Rising taxes, food prices, gasoline, heating oil, electricity, medical costs and other basic living costs, while living on a fixed income, will take care of any excess you might think you'll have.
7. You can get up in the morning with nothing to do and then go to bed having gotten it half done.
8. You can keep in good physical shape and improve your balance during coffee and conversation time at church by dodging all the running kids who cut in front of you while you are carrying your coffee. But better yet, you can use your cane to whack those inconsiderate kids who get in your way.
9. You no longer have to worry about what to wear or what to bring to parties, like Super Bowl parties, because you won't be invited. Actually your back will go out more than you will.
10. You can safely share your secrets with your closest friends because either they won't be able to hear you or they won't remember what you said.
11. You get all sorts of unexpected exercise such as when you finally get all bundled up to go out and shovel the snow, you suddenly have to undress to go to the bathroom.
12. You don't need a weatherman since you will know when it is going to rain or snow because joints, which you never even knew you had, will ache.
13. You can take advantage of those early bird dinner specials for seniors and, with 10% off your bill, you can fill up with all the carbs, sugar and cholesterol you desire. Then you can use the money you've saved to pay for the co-pay needed to visit all those friends whose name begins with Dr.
14. You can still learn many important real life facts, such as wrinkles don't really hurt.
15. You don't have to put up with folks saying you are getting old. You can just squash their toes with your rocking chair or your walker.
16. You can learn to cope with your loss of sight and hearing, your arthritis, your loss of balance and even your early signs of dementia as long as you still have your driver's license.
17. You no longer need to worry about having flabby thighs because your stomach covers them.
18. While you were taught to respect your elders, now you can forget that, for you no longer have any elders left for you to respect.
19. When you make mistakes, such as saying 18 items when you actually have 19, you can laugh them off as "senior moments".
Well that's enough benefits for one day - my rocking chair is calling!
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