A Gift Refused

          So how do you react when a special thank you gift which you want to give to a friend is turned down by your friend?  Maybe you've never had this happen to you.  It certainly isn't a normal reaction ... at least it shouldn't be.

          One of my biggest concerns about churches is that the leadership seldom, if ever, thank their volunteers for their faithful service.  Now please don't get me wrong.  If volunteers are serving for thanks and recognition, their service is really worthless.  They should be willing to use their gifts to serve the Lord without any praise.  A verse which has been the basis of my Christian life for many years shares that standard.  Colossians 3:23, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men."  We should serve to please God, not man.

          But let's face it, we are still human and a little appreciation once in awhile certainly can be a real encouragement.  Even though we know that our reward is in heaven, it does help when someone here on earth comes along and says "thank you" or "we appreciate your faithful service".  But that isn't part of the normal church conversation and that lack of encouragement often leads to loneliness, discouragement and eventually even to giving up.   And when that happens, unfortunately the normal reaction of leadership isn't to thank the person who served, but to begin the search to replace that leader.  Thanks is not a normal reaction.  Next up. Just move on.  It happens.

          With that in mind, 33 years ago, when we began our Awana ministry, I was concerned about how to express sincere appreciation to those Awana workers who serve faithfully each week.  While there are eternal rewards for their service, at times the nightly problems and frustrations can be very discouraging.  And when there are no visual rewards each night, the nights can at times be very tiring and emotionally draining.  It is hard at times not to become "weary in well doing".

          So my idea was to honor all the leaders at the end of the year with a special banquet where we would have a relaxing night with great food and great fellowship and we could thank them and honor them for their faithful service.  We learned we had to charge them a very small amount so that we could obtain an accurate count of those attending.  It started as a great idea which originally was appreciated by all those who served.

         Over the years this idea has grown from a small catered banquet, to one hosted by another church, to one held at a local restaurant and then for many years at an area  restaurant which provided a great buffet.  Then a few years ago, when that restaurant suddenly went out of business, we moved to the Conference Center at Millersville University.  It is a great facility with excellent food.  We couldn't ask for anything better.  We have a special gift for each who attends. We have a guest speaker give a short devotional and we just have a great time.

         Now the cost of doing this is quite high and we don't publicize this expense.  But over the years we have had a few good friends who have made this possible by giving special gifts.  This year, with the cost of the meal, the cost of the speaker, the gifts for each person attending and the service awards that were presented, it cost us about $34 for each of the 105 who attended. But our charge per person has remained $6.  Now that is a major bargain!

          But what continues to be discouraging to me is that a third of our staff doesn't even attend, even though this event is a special gift for them.  We even tell them in August to reserve the date so that they are available to attend.  But even that advance notice doesn't make any difference.  Now a few do have legitimate reasons - illness, surgery, etc., but most just don't reply to us or give us any reason for not attending.  And sometimes it might be better not to know why they don't come.  This year a few told me that they weren't coming because it just wasn't a priority for them.  I think those kind of  reactions hurt even more.

          Now as I asked when I started this blog, how should you react when a special thank you gift which you want to give to a friend is turned down by your friend?  Unfortunately I must admit that at times I've taken the lack of attendance somewhat personally and I am trying to learn not to do that.  I guess you learn that sometimes there is nothing that you can really do to show your appreciation, except to just offer the gift.  And if they refuse it, it becomes their problem.  They are the ones who miss out.   And that is life.

          Incidentally, I enjoyed myself again at this year's banquet.  The food was excellent, the speaker great, and the fellowship was special.  And the 104 others who attended thought the same and that was rewarding to me.  I am already looking forward to next year.