Sunday Plans

        We were looking forward to Sunday.  As usual we had expected to spend time in worship and fellowship at church.  Then we were going to have the family at our house for Sunday dinner (homemade chicken pot pie!) to celebrate our grandson's 21st birthday.  Sundays are always special days, but this one was to be extra special.
          And, according to the weather guys, while some snow was coming Saturday, it was just to be a coating to an inch or two here in Millersville and the temperatures were to climb into the 40's by Sunday morning.  This certainly would not disrupt our plans.  But since when are the weather guys right?  Their predictions are almost as bad as baseball players who get millions for failing three times our of four when they bat.  But at least I guess the weather guys don't get millions for their guesses.
          Anyway, the first setback came on Saturday when the predictions became worse.  Our grandson had planned to go to college after work on Saturday to complete a five hour chem lab with his lab partner.  The snow and the dangerous driving conditions made that too risky.  So we suggested moving his special dinner to next Sunday so that he could complete the lab Sunday afternoon.  All agreed to this and while it was a minor setback, it wasn't serious because we were able to reschedule it without a problem. Our only problem is that we also host our small group that evening.  But we will handle both.  Incidentally, the weather guys are now hinting about more snow next weekend.
           But we still had church to look forward to.  On Sundays I just need to be in church.  I always have been and as long as I am able, I always will be there.  Now I admit that I don't enjoy the music  - I prefer the hymns and the drums sometimes give me headaches.  But I have accepted the changes knowing that the music does honor the Lord and many do enjoy it.  Our special music is exceptional and professionally done, but again, at times I miss hearing "average" musicians who share from their hearts and experiences as they minister.  Our preaching is excellent and helpful and a major reason to attend.  Strangely I miss the fellowship.  I say that because, beside my family members, I really don't have close friends there anymore. If I don't greet folks, seldom would anyone greet me. If they do greet me it is usually the passing "How are you" and as they move on I know they really don't want to know.  I would not be missed if I wasn't there, but I still miss being a part of the many who attend.  This is my church home and has been for 65 years.  I need this opportunity to worship and the week just isn't right when I can't be there.
           Well, my plans were to get up at 6 am and clear the driveway and the walks so that we could leave for church by 8:15.  But at 6 am I was shocked to hear that our services were canceled.  I had anticipated that the first service might be called off, but not all of them. We had made it to church last week when the weather was actually worse  So I decided to just stay in bed a little longer and worship by listening to the beautiful hymns on WDAC.  One of my favorite things each weekend is to listen to this station because on Friday and Saturday nights they play my kind of music throughout the entire night.  So for over two hours I was able to worship in bed by listening and praying.
          Then it was up to do one of my least favorite things - clear the snow.  Both my wife and I are presently in physical therapy so I refused to allow my wife to help me this time.  One of my sons called and offered to come and help, but I refused.  He has a bad cold and shouldn't be doing it either. I went solo.  So for the next hour I cleared the driveway and front walk.  Later in the day I went back out to clear the side drive, our one car and some of the remaining walks.  Thank the Lord for a snow blower that starts.  Unfortunately my back and muscles don't respond quite as well anymore.  But the blower and I made it.
         The remainder of the day I did a variety of things including spending considerable time writing a few new blogs for my weekly hymn blog.  This is not a substitute for being in church but it did give me a chance to worship by meditating on and writing about the many great themes and words penned by believers over the years.  I love and miss the great hymns of the faith.  Many share great truths and doctrine.  Many share personal experiences that the authors have had in their Christian walk.  Many are ingrained in my memory and so often the Lord allows me to recall these just when I need them.
          But I am reminded that this is the day which the Lord hath made.  It might not have been what I had anticipated and I have greatly missed the weekly assembling together of the saints. God had other plans for me this Sunday.  And God has been with me - even when I was laboring to shovel the snow!   God is good, all the time.

Ode To My Spell Checker

       Those of us who use our word processors have learned to depend upon our spell checkers.  And so I share with you this poem which was recently shared with me.

I have a spelling checker

I disk covered four my PC.

It plane lee marks four my revue

Miss steaks aye can knot see.

Eye ran this poem threw it,

Your sure real glad two no.

Its very polished in its weigh,

My checker tolled me sew.

A checker is a blessing,

It freeze yew lodes of thyme.

It helps me right awl stiles two reed,

And aides me when aye rime.

Each frays comes posed up on my screen,

Eye trussed too bee a joule.

The checker pours o'er every word

To cheque sum spelling rule.

Bee fore wee rote with checkers,

Hour spelling was inn deck line.

Butt not when wee dew have a laps,

Wee are not maid too wine.

And now bee cause my spelling

Is checked with such grate flare,

There are know faults in awl this peace,

Of nun eye am a wear.

To rite with care is quite a feet

Of witch won should be proud.

And wee mussed dew the best wee can,

Sew flaws are knot aloud.

That's why eye brake in two averse

Cuz Eye dew want too please.

Sow glad eye yam that aye did bye

This soft wear four pea seas.

Celebrating Valentine's Day

          Valentines Day is an interesting time.  For children it often is a time of sharing valentines with friends.  I remember in the "good old days" when we would have a decorated valentine mailbox in our classroom.  We kids would address our cards and deposit them there. Then a chosen student would serve as a postman and distribute them to everyone in the class.  I can recall buying either a box of small cards or else purchasing a book with punch out cards.  But I guess those traditions are now all gone.
          For those who are dating or married the day can be an expensive event.  Often it means expensive gifts of jewelry or candy and a fancy and expensive meal.  Even nice cards are very expensive.  It is easy to spend several hundred dollars very quickly in an attempt to express your love for your friend or spouse. In 2014 the average person spent $133.91 for gifts.  Men spent $168.74 on the average and women $85.76.
          Now I guess we are very frugal, or if you want, cheap.  We have never gone into big displays or expenditures for one day.  Hopefully we express our love to each other in many other meaningful ways daily.  About all that we do is prepare homemade cards for our grandchildren and include some money.  It used to be candy but now they appreciate money much more.
           And, as you get older, there are so many other less expensive things to do to celebrate.  So, in case you are interested, here is my list of ideas.  Incidentally, maybe you aren't ready yet for these ideas, but let me assure you, your day is coming, probably sooner than you think.

Spend the day together shoveling and clearing the snow and ice off your drive and sidewalks.  Then spend the evening together with tylenol and his and her heating pads.

Accompany your spouse to his/her doctor appointment.  Don't trip over each other's canes.

Spend the day together reading all those medicare/health insurance offers that you've received in the mail.

Take out your hearing aids and enjoy the quiet together.

Listen to your eight-track tapes or your 45 rpm records.

Enjoy "happy hour" together by taking a nap.

Call your friends at 9 pm and ask them if they are still awake.

Share a special tasty treat such as a valentine made out of prunes.

Talk about all the senior discounts you could get - movies, meals, hotels, flights - if you weren't too tired to use them.

Give your wife something very special, covered with diamonds - like a deck of cards.

Snuggle and nibble on your wife's ear.  But remember to get your dentures first.

Go and together get your free ear tests at one of those hearing aid stores.  Some even give out gift cards or other gifts just for doing this.

Go out for a special meal.  Try something that doesn't cost much or require reservations, such as Burger King or MacDonalds.   Snuggle up in a booth and share a diet coke and fries.  Add a 99 cent sandwich and share it if you are so inclined.

Get down on your knees and tell your wife that you love her and would marry her again.  On second thought, you better not do that.  You might not be able to get up again afterwards.

Well, no matter how you celebrate, have a happy Valentine's Day and share your love.

Into The Tunnel Once Again

        It started with my chiropractor who said that he didn't want to do any additional work on me until I had an MRI of my back.   Next it was the orthopedic specialist who said I probably needed an MRI and I should also see a neurosurgeon for his opinion.  So I called the neurosurgeon who did my cervical spine surgery just seven months ago and was told that the earliest open appointment that he had was April 23, three months away.  And before he would even see me then I needed to see my family doctor and have him schedule me for an MRI.

          So reluctantly I talked to my family doctor who agreed that I needed an MRI of my thoracic spine.  Over the years I have had nine MRI's and all but one was tolerable.  The one that I vowed I would never do again was of the thoracic spine.  In that one they wrapped me up like I was in a cocoon and I spent an hour tightly wrapped in the tunnel.  And I had no idea how much longer I would be in the machine.  It was not fun.

          The good news was that my doctor said that I would not need contrast this time and that would cut the time in half.  I agreed and the MRI was scheduled.  But an hour later I received a call telling me that I had to return for a blood test and that they discovered, because of some other conditions that I have, that they would need to give me the contrast.  I was not a happy camper, but what else could I do.  I've learned never to say never.

          Because I am a veteran of MRI's I have often given advice to others who are having it done for the first time and are worried about it.  There are several things that I have learned to do to pass the time, such as quoting scripture and praying for others.  For a 30 minute MRI those tips are fine, but for an hour ... well that can be much more difficult.  And I've known folks who just couldn't take it.  Some have had to push the panic button to get out.  Some have taken pills to calm their nerves.  And one that I know had to be put to sleep to have it done.  It's not for the feint of heart.

           Now the one that I was having this time was one that they say is an open MRI.  Now that might sound great, but the fact is that when you are put in it you are unable to move and you see the top of the tube just inches from your eyes. You have no idea if it is open or closed.  Now the last closed one that I was in at LGH actually had a mirror that at least allowed me to see the blank wall outside behind the unit.  In a setup like that it's too bad that they didn't also project changing relaxing pictures on the wall which you could see in the mirror.  But probably those who design these machines never get to experience them their selves.

          The other problem is that the machines are terribly loud while the magnets are working.  They give you ear plugs and they also offer to pipe in music for you to listen to through ear phones.  They even allow you to pick out what kind of music you want to hear.  But what a joke that is.  While the machine is running you can't hear anything but the pounding of the machine.  And then, of course, you may also get feelings like you might need to cough, or your throat is too dry to swallow, or your nose itches.  You can count on those things happening.  Live with it!

           So anyway, they prepared me and strapped me in.  The case that they put over my chest almost prevented me from taking full deep breaths.  Then when they finally had me in so tight that I couldn't move, I was sent into the "deep dark pit", earphones on, and panic button in my hand. As the noise started I began, with my eyes closed, to pray for everyone that I could think of.  And that was a good and worthwhile activity.   After 30 minutes they pulled me out of the machine to put the contrast in my arm.  Then back in I went for another 30 minutes.  This time I decided to sing and I began to recall hymns, singing them in alphabetical order.  If you know all the verses, most hymns take about 3 or 4 minutes.  I think I actually only got to about "N" before it was all over.

           Finally it was over and I was released from my confinement. I felt like a prisoner set free. Actually it wasn't as bad as I had feared.  Fortunately I didn't get wrapped up this time.  And the operator kept telling me what was happening and how long the next pictures would take and how many were left to be done.  That did help.  Of course, the big reason that it went better than I expected was because many people were praying for me.  They knew I had an unspoken request but didn't know the specifics.  But God did and He answered.  He always does.  In fact I felt like He was there, right with me, deep in the machine.

           Now I wonder if there are any honors or awards for a person who completes ten MRI's?  I don't want a shirt saying "I survived ten MRI's"..  Maybe they could put my name on a plaque somewhere or give me a 10% discount on the next one or name the MRI room after me.  I wonder what the world record might be.  Maybe there is a Hall of Fame somewhere.  Just kidding, I survived and  I just hope that I will never need a number eleven.

          Next came the EMG, but that is another story for another day.

Just Be There

       I guess it was the thoughts of the recent home going of my Aunt Ellen Derck that helped bring back to my mind a powerful but unusual song that I had heard several years ago.  The song, sung by Karen Wheaton, has a powerful message that one might want to share with one's children or loved ones - "Just Be There".

          I don't think that as a father that I have any greater desire in life than to see all my family members know the Lord and have a passion for serving Him.  What a joy to know that one day all of them would be reunited with you in heaven.  But, sadly, many families don't have the assurance that this will happen and only God knows for sure.

         The song almost sounds like a demand.  But demands don't work. It is a personal decision that each must make, we can't force it as much as we would like to.  Instead I think it is a plea - accept the Lord, serve Him in the sunshine and rain, and make heaven your destination.  Join me someday on the shores of heaven where we can live together eternally.  Be there!

         I shared the words of this song with my family at my father's funeral service.  For I know it was also his desire.  And I must admit that it often brings tears when I hear it because of its profound message and desire.

Cradled in my arms I held you 

And I loved you more with each day passing by 

Sharing joy, sharing pain 

Through the sunshine and the rain 

I can't believe it's time to say good bye 

I don't know what the future brings you 

But I hope that you'll keep Heaven as your goal 

For we've taught you how to pray 

We made sure you knew the way 

So remember my request before you go 

Just be there 

When I finally make it home 

And I stand before the throne 

Just be there 

When I look around to see 

If you are standing next to me 

Just be there 

It's not an easy road you're travelin' 

But every place you go Jesus has been 

And when you find you've made a turn 

Forgetting what you've learned 

You may have to start all over again 

It's not an easy load you're bearin' 

But the trials of your faith will make you strong 

Facing dangers unaware 

He won't allow what you can't bear 

So my prayer is that your faith will bring you home 

Just be there 

When I finally make it home 

And I stand before the throne 

Just be there 

When I look around to see 

If you are standing next to me 

Just be there

You can listen to Karen Wheaton singing it here.   LISTEN

Moved To Her Home In Heaven

          

          On Saturday my dear Aunt Ellen Derck stepped on the shores heaven where she was greeted by her loving Lord whom she had served most of her nearly 96 years here on earth.  While she didn't want to leave her dear husband of 73 years and her family, she had looked forward to sharing the joys of eternity in heaven.
         I imagine that she was also soon reunited with many friends and family members, including her two sisters and her brother (my dad), their spouses, her mother, her stepfather, and for the first time ever, her father, H.A. Kauffman.  My aunt's real father, my grandfather, died before she was born, so she never knew him.  She must be having an exciting reunion with him - one that I look forward to having someday.
          Several times over the past several years the doctors were sure that she was about to make this journey from earth to heaven.  They even went as far as to summon the family.  But each previous time the Lord still had work for her to do and He extended her days.   But not this time.  She had a marvelous way of making friends and sharing the Gospel with those she met, especially doctors and nurses.  Many lives were touched by her outreach to them in the final years of her life.   We believe that the Lord prolonged her life for that reason.
           My memories of Aunt Ellen are many, going back to when I was just a child.  While her husband, Uncle John, was serving in France during World War II, she often helped care for me.  But probably my greatest memory was when she led me to the Lord at the age of four on June 12, 1945.  I will be eternally thankful for that.
          When I was in third grade our families shared a row house in Lancaster.  They lived on the main floor and we had the apartment on the second floor.  About a year later they rented another home and moved.  But we were close enough that we still spent much time together, visiting with them most weekends.
         Uncle John was a manager for Penneys and so they moved quite frequently.  He started in Sunbury and then was assigned to Lancaster.  I'm not sure of all the locations where he served, but I do remember visits with them in Fredericksburg Virginia, Derby Connecticut, and Pottstown PA.  I remember visiting with them in Derby and traveling with them to New York City to see the Billy Graham Crusade in Times Square.  What a good memory.  Dianne and I also visited them in Derby on our first vacation after we were married.  After Uncle John retired at Pottstown, they decided to move to Wisconsin to be near their daughter and her husband who were in charge of a year round camp run by Wheaton College.  They enjoyed Wisconsin but still rooted for the Penn State football teams.
          My uncle and aunt were very supportive of us when we had our family ministry.  When we would have the Saturday programs at the Old Mill Bible Conference they were always there with us.  When we had programs in their church at Spring City they always entertained us for dinner.  They loved us and loved our boys.
           And despite the amount of travel involved, when my grandparents were alive they were always with them for Christmas.  My father's family all loved and served the Lord and we were all very close. I will never forget the times we all joined in singing "We Thank Thee Lord For This Our Food" as our prayer for our Christmas dinner.  This is a tradition that we have continued with our family.  Then there were annual family gatherings at Mizpah Grove and Mt. Gretna. The memories of times together will never be forgotten.  What an amazing legacy the Lord has given me.  And my Aunt Ellen is a major part of that legacy.
           Several years ago she had a stroke which took away her ability to walk.  At times her speech was slurred, but PTL  her mind was sharp right up to the end.  She continued to organize and attend a Bible study for the folks in the retirement home where they lived. We had the joy of visiting them in Rhinelander several times and they were precious times.  On our last visit she enjoyed listening to my wife play hymns on the piano.  My Uncle John calls us about once a week and several times I had the chance to talk to Aunt Ellen.  While sometimes I had some difficulty understanding all that she said, those conversations were special and something I will never forget.
          Aunt Ellen's son, my cousin Jerry, will conducted her funeral service on Sunday.  He expects to speak on Proverbs 31 and use an acronym, SPECIAL, to describe his mother. SCRIPTURE because that was central for her.  PRAYER WARRIOR for that was what she was. EVANGELISTIC- she shared the Gospel with everyone she met. CHILDREN - she loved them, especially her grandchildren and great grandchildren.  INTENSE INTEREST in others - definitely and people loved her.  ALWAYS DETERMINED and among other things that helped her live with her stroke effects.  LOVED HER LORD - without a doubt and that was obvious to all who knew her.  A fitting description.
           Now I will miss her deeply but do not wish her back. I feel for the great loss that my uncle now faces and I pray for comfort for him.  She lived a long and godly life and deserves a new body and the rewards of heaven which she has earned.  But I will especially miss her because she was a real prayer warrior who faithfully remembered me and my family.  I have had a few such people over the years, but one by one they have graduated to heaven and that is leaving a major hole in my life.
          And with her passing, I am now the oldest living member in the Kauffman line and that is another reality which is hard to accept.  Where have all the years gone?
        Thank you Lord for my heritage and for the impact of Aunt Ellen on my life and the lives of my family.  I have been blessed.

Power Saver

         It was 20 years ago that we remodeled our kitchen.  At that time we had a new microwave built in above our stove.  For two decades it met all of our needs and we often took that for granted.  Then last winter it just died!
So we headed to out favorite appliance dealer, L. H. Brubaker.  Fortunately we found that over two decades the measurements stayed practically the same, except that they were just a little deeper.  No problem.  But there were so many options now available and dozens to choose from and this made purchasing difficult  We chose a basic model with all the features that we felt we needed.  They installed it for us and remarked that now microwaves only last seven to ten years.  They must cut down the quality to produce extra sales over the years.
For ten months the new one worked perfectly.  We were pleased. Then suddenly one day we found that the clock would suddenly shut off.  When you opened the door the clock would come on and stay on ...  for about a minute.  Then it would shut off.

So we stopped by the store and asked if there was something that we were doing wrong with the settings.  They didn't know but referred us to an employee who they said knew everything about microwaves.  When we talked to him he concluded that we needed a new panel and a new clock.  Since it was still under the guarantee we asked him to order the needed part.
Well a week later the repairman showed up with the needed parts.  Like us, he was perplexed by the problem.  He asked to read our manual just as I had done when it first went bad.  He almost gave up when he found a little information at the end of the book about a power saver button.  As he experimented he found out that the only indication that this function is in use is ... the clock display shuts off when the microwave is not being used.  Everything else, including the lights and fans, still works ... but not the clock display.  So since the power saver had accidentally been activated, the clock was shutting off.  No repair needed.
After he left I did some investigation online and found that if activated, this feature saves up to 20% of the power use when the microwave is not being used.  And the clock still maintains the correct time even though it is not displayed. This is unique to GE microwaves.  Not a bad feature, if it actually works.  And 20% savings is nice.  However, why don't they explain this in the manual.  There is no explanation there telling what it actually does.  And the microwave guru and the repairman didn't even know about this.

So now we are saving energy. We've activated the button. We just can't read the clock display.  But 20% is 20%!
Now I've been thinking, wouldn't it be nice if our bodies had a "power saver" button.  We could just push it when we had no work to do and we could save and build up our energy.  That would be a great feature for those of us who are growing older and have less energy than we used to.  But wait a minute, I think the Creator did take care of that.  Instead of a button, he used something called ... a "nap".  And the older I get, the more I appreciate and need that function.
Guess I'll sit down now and activate my "power saver".  I love it!

Changes

          Three of my favorite years growing up were the years that we lived in downtown Lancaster - 48 N. Queen St.  Those years may have been hard for my father since parking was rather difficult, but I thoroughly enjoyed my time there.
We lived in a row home and for the first year there we shared our home with my aunt and uncle and cousin.  We lived upstairs and they lived downstairs.  When they moved out we had the entire house to ourselves and we enjoyed having loads of room.  We didn't have much of a yard, but that didn't matter since the large house and the whole town were our playground.
My brother and I walked several blocks to school at George Ross Elementary.  After school I would often walk downtown, by myself, and explore the stores and the city.  I learned to love the city.  I was only a youngster, but I felt entirely safe.  My parents and I never had any fears about my safety.  It was great.
           During the summer, when our new church held tent meetings, we often had Bible school students who were helping with the meetings stay in our house.  That was a great experience.  When our new church met in a hall downtown, our family often walked to church, Sunday mornings and evenings and Wednesday evenings.  We had friends in that area that we would go to visit.  No fears.  Great memories.
Now fast forward  60 years - times in Lancaster have changed drastically.  Today I would never consider walking in my old neighborhood at night.  Even during the day I would be careful and concerned.  I would not ever let my children walk to school unattended.  Crime, fights, shootings and drugs are now common.  It's so sad.
          In the last three months there were at least ten shootings in Lancaster.  Three of them were fatal.  And one elementary school teacher was brutally killed in her home in an attempted burglary.  The majority of these were in the northeast section of town, an area recently thought to be very "safe".  In 2012 there were 26 shootings.  In 2013 there were 29.  In the first eleven months of 2014 there were 34 shootings.  Not too comforting.  Some were drive by shootings.  Some shot were innocent bystanders.
          The mayor blames it on the state which he says "refuses to do everything it can to keep guns out of the hands of people who use them unlawfully."  He says that the shootings do not indicate that the general public is at high risk.  He says drunken drivers pose a bigger danger to law abiding citizens.   Really?
The police chief said that residents, visitors and downtown merchants should know that most such incidents arise from personal disputes - not drug or turf wars involving gangs.  Is that comforting?  Tell that to the 54 year old man who was fatally wounded and the 60 year old woman and 25 year old man who were all wounded in the same incident.  All three  were described as innocent bystanders.
           But no matter what they do, the cause of this is man's sin.  They can try stricter laws, tougher prosecution, more police, wars on drugs, or whatever, but until the hearts of men are changed, violence like this will just increase.  The cure for the world's ills is Jesus, but He has become politically incorrect in today's society.  Instead of depending upon Him, society has tried to remove Him from all aspects of today's life and what we are facing today is the sad and dangerous result.
           Unfortunately this problem is not just Lancaster's.  Almost every night the local news reports shootings in York or Harrisburg as well as Lancaster.  Now many residents say they don't fear the city.  Good for them.  Let them live, walk, and shop there.  As for me, I will still spend limited time there, but only when I have to.
I guess we've come a long way ... but change isn't always good.  In this case I'd rather have the "good old days".

The Lottery

Every morning that I walk at the Park City Mall I pass a tobacco shop where they sell lottery tickers.  Almost every day I see folks, most of them seniors, purchasing lottery tickets.  Many of them purchase the scratch off cards and then move to the mall where they sit and begin to scratch.  In  most cases when they are done, they get up and leave, having lost once again.  Others choose numbers for the daily drawings or the huge lotteries where millions are given away.  I assume that most of these purchasers also end up being disappointed.
Now I will probably never win since I don't play.  I have reservations about gambling so I stay away.  I also know myself enough to know that if I started playing I might have a tough time stopping and all I would do is lose more money.  And finally, as a math teacher, I know the tremendous odds against winning.  Your chances are almost zero.
         However, I do leave myself a little opening.  We had a friend who used to enjoy giving his friends a lottery ticket as a birthday gift.  Now I know folks who tore them up and threw them away without checking them out.  Maybe I'm in the minority, but I feel that if it is a gift and I've not invested anything of my own funds, I would be crazy not to see if it was worth anything.  I certainly would take cash as a gift if it were given to me as a present, so I don't see a big difference between cash and a ticket.  But that probably won't happen again because the gift giver recently passed away.
          Now while I don't play, I have often thought about what I would do if I were to win several million.  Obviously, the first thing I would do is hire a good accountant who could help me handle the money.  Then I would want to take care of all the tax obligations the money would bring.
          My first priority would be to help my church and my denomination's Bible and Retreat Center pay off their loans.  Being able to do that would give me real joy.  However, the question would be would they even accept the money since it came from the lottery.  I do know about a local school teacher whose wife bought a ticket and didn't tell him.  She won the grand prize and wanted to give the money to their church.  But the church refused to accept it.  While he had been very active in his church for many yers, he eventually left the church not only because of their rejection but also because of the way folks treated him as a "gambler".
          My next choice would be to set up scholarships for my seven grandchildren.  Three are now in college and some of them have hopes of going to graduate school.  The other four will probably also attend college when they graduate from high school.  I'd love to be able to help them reach their goals without running up huge debts for their education.
         Would I want anything for myself?  Well I'd like to take a trip to Alaska while contractors are fixing the many problems in our house so that it could be sold.  Then I'd like to sell it and move to a top notch retirement home where we could be cared for the rest of our lives.  I really wouldn't need or want much more for us since the Lord has been good to us and has provided all that we really need.
          While I don't play, I did have a very unusual thing happen once when I was teaching.  One day I was making up additional practice problems to work in front of the class on the overhead projector - anyone remember those things?  Three problems in a row unexpectedly ended up with solutions involving the three digits 7, 1, 6.  My students and I remarked about this unusual situation and I made the off hand remark that maybe I should break my rules and bet 7, 1, and 6 in the lottery that night.  We laughed about it. But the next morning a student brought the results of the lottery to class and showed that ... guess what ... 7, 1, 6 was actually the winner.  Wow!   And how much did I win?  Zero!
          So there are my thoughts.  They sound good but there is no chance that any of this could happen ... unless somebody else gives me tickets as a gift ... and that probably won't happen again.  Incidentally ... just in case you are interested ... my birthday is April 6 ... and of course there is always Christmas ... or Valentines Day ... or June 2, our anniversary!

Rain or Snow?

Now here is something for you to think about:
A Russian couple were walking down the street in Moscow one night when the man felt a drop hit his nose.  "I think it's raining", he said to his wife.
"No, that felt more like snow to me", she replied.
"No, I'm sure it was just rain" he replied.
Well, as these things go, they were about to have a major argument about whether it was raining or snowing.  Just then they saw a former official of the Communist Party walking toward them.
"Let's not fight about it", the man said.  "Let's ask Comrade Rudolph whether it's officially raining or snowing"
As the official approached, the man said, "Tell us, Comrade Rudolph, is it officially raining or snowing?"
"It's raining, of course", he replied and walked on.
But the woman insisted, "I know that felt like snow!".  To which the man quietly replied, "Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear!"

Getting Ahead

        I've come to the conclusion that it isn't always just good hard work that leaves a good impression, but unfortunately it might also be the little things that you do that help create a good perception of you by others.  Recently I read these "Ten Commandments for Working Hard."

1. Never walk without a document in your hands

People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they're heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they're heading for the restroom. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.

2. Use computers to look busy

Any time you use a computer, it looks like work to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren't exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they're not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you will get caught  your best defense is to claim you're teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars.

3. Messy desk

Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we're not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year's work looks the same as today's work; it's volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you'll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives.

4. Voice Mail

Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don't call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That's no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they're not there - it looks like you're hardworking and conscientious even though you're being a devious weasel.

5. Looking Impatient and Annoyed

According to Seinfeld's George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy.

6. Leave the office late

Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss' office on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and over the holidays.

7. Creative Sighing for Effect

Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure.

8. Stacking Strategy

It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (Thick computer manuals are the best).

9. Build Vocabulary

Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don't have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive.

10. MOST IMPORTANT:

DON'T forward this to your boss by mistake!!!