Senior Advantages

Many folks hate to admit that they are there.  Others dread the time they will be there.  Many prefer to ignore and overlook those who are there.  Some joke about those who are there.  Where?  The senior years!  But if one's health holds up, most everyone will someday be there and there are many advantages to being a senior.  Here are a few:  1. Kidnappers are not very interested in you;   2. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first;   3. No one expects you to run--anywhere;  4. People call at 9 pm and ask, did I wake you?;   5. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac;  6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way;  7. Things you buy now won't wear out;  8. You can eat supper at 4 pm;  9. You get into heated arguments about pension plans;  10. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge;  11. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room; 12. You sing along with elevator music;  13. Your eyes won't get much worse;  14. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off;  15. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the National Weather Service;  16. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either;  17. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.   And of course, there are all the senior discounts.   So you young guys out there - eat your heart out!