Coming Through!

I am told that there are loads of "Murphy's Laws". If there are, one of them must go something like this. The probability of a person arriving late for an event, such as a game or concert, is related to how close that person's seat is to the middle of the row. Most likely you've experienced this, hopefully as an end seat holder and not as a middle seat holder. Let me illustrate this fact. At Penn State many rows contain 30 or more seats. The seats are very, very narrow and the rows give you just enough room, at best, for your feet. Your knees usually press into the back of the person in front of you. I guess it must be that way to squeeze in more than 104,000 spectators. Now guess who will almost always show up to be seated, five minutes after the opening kickoff. The ones with the middle seats. They will make everyone stand up and lean back while they try to squeeze through with their blankets and cold weather gear. They also block everyone's view of the game usually during a big or crucial play. Now also guess who will need to get out to go the bathroom late in the first quarter. You're right, the ones with the middle seats. Now that is probably because they were out in the parking lot finishing their beverages when the game began. Now guess who will return early in the second quarter from the bathroom, and then, of course, leave again for the refreshment stand late in the second quarter to avoid the halftime rush. You've got it again - the ones with the middle seats. And, of course, who will come back midway in the third quarter carrying their food which will pass right by your nose if it isn't spilled on you? That's right - the folks with the middle seats. I often wonder why many even come to the game. Obviously not to see the game. Probably they come to help those who have the end seats get their daily exercise. Stand up, inhale, lean back, move ... as they squeeze through ... again and again. Now a final question, guess who leaves with a few minutes left in the game. Wrong! Not the ones in the middle seats, but us, the occupants of end seats! We leave to beat the crowd out of the parking lot ... and maybe also to avoid those in the middle seats who will soon want out once again. It probably isn't one of Murphy's Laws, but it should be. Expect it and accept it and maybe help yourself to some of their food as they squeeze by - now that's an idea ... maybe next year.